Alone
by secretivemuch
Summary: "Being harassed in your driveway is not what I expect at ten past eight in the morning!" Katniss' life is miserable, she's never been more alone, she's constantly taunted by Clove and Glimmer and even worse, Mr Popular and his best friend keep harassing her for information about who sends her the hateful texts that fill her phone, because the only way she sees is the blade.
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys this is my brand new story, if you want to pm any time you can, or you can get hold of me on tumblr on the blog **TheHungerGameGirl** or through Facebook (**Courtney Gostic**). Meanwhile I've put a lot of thought into this chapter and I've been helping **NATE15765 **with one of his new stories, so go check him out. I promise you that you won't regret it.

Meanwhile, this is my new story. Warning triggers! And I don't own anything except the plot.

- Court :)

* * *

**CHAPTER ONE**

* * *

My eyes snap open to the sound of Gale's personal ringtone of him shouting that he's calling me, it was funny at the time, right now I could kill him for it. With my head buried under the duvet to shield myself from the blinding sunlight I pat my bedside table in pursuit of my phone. When my fingers find the personalised plastic cover I fumble to press the answer call button.

"Ugh. Speak," I moan

"Emergency, get here now." and with that he hangs up, I moan again and sit up, pulling myself from the warm covers of my bed. I look at the time, it's only eight am, I usually meet Gale at ten at the park, it's a Sunday after all.

I swing my legs out from the covers with an annoyed grunt and stumble over to my closet and pull out whatever hoodie I find and pull it over my pyjamas. I stumble into the bathroom and moan looking at the bags under my eyes. I quickly tie my hair up in a very messy high ponytail and slip on my cheap converse fakes before grabbing my skateboard off the floor by my door and exiting my room.

I ignore my mother trying to start a conversation by walking out the house and slamming the front door, I could really do without her breathing down my neck today.

I skate down the road at high speed and take a sharp left past an old lady with a dog that could beat a rat in an ugliness competition and continue down the road until I skate into Gale's drive, there's a moving van parked outside. I jump off my board and flick it upwards so that I catch it in my hands.

"Nice legs," I turn to see the familiar face of Cato Alexander, the school's most popular boy and the biggest player known to man

"Sick of Glimmer already?" I hiss back, annoyed at his flirtatiousness

"That is why people don't like you," he argues back, I roll my eyes

"You don't even know the half of it, pretty boy," I reply, walking straight into Gale's house through the open front door. I stomp up the stairs and burst into Gale's room.

"Being harassed in your driveway is not what I expect at ten past eight in the morning, after having being rudely awoken just ten minutes ago," I huff flopping on Gale's bed next to him, my back hits the mattress, I need more sleep even though I know it won't come, the four hours I got last night was a record breaker, it was the longest sleep I had had in all four of my years of high school. "Oh yeah, and what's Mr Popular doing in your driveway?"

"He's moving in,"

"What the-" he cuts off my swearing by explaining

"My mother's boyfriend is his dad, and god you really need to control your potty mouth,"

"I practice with and hang out with an all boys street soccer team, get used to it," I reply rolling my eyes, I spy a new bed on the other side of the room "Oh god," I say in shock "You're sharing a room with him, aren't you?" Gale nods and leans back so his back is against the bed, so he's now laying next to me. He covers his face with his arms.

"My mother has such bad taste in men," he groans "Wait a minute," he says bolting up into a sitting position "He harassed you in my driveway?"

"Verbally," I say sitting up "I believe the words were 'nice legs' and before you go all 'I'm going to punch that idiot' I got him back by asking if he was sick of Glimmer already,"

"Why does he have to share with me, why can't he share with Rory?" he complains

"Because then he'd have to share with Mr Douchebag down there in a room that's half the size of yours, and he could teach Rory how to be a player whilst I'm still waiting on him to ask Prim out," Gale sighs in response "Come on, let's play Zombies Attack 3 for the hundredth time," I say stand up and turning on his Xbox

"You know Catnip, you really know how to cheer a guy up," he says giving me a rare smile

"What did you finally get your rub and tug you've been waiting for, huh Hawthorne?" smirks Cato entering the room and putting a box on the bed, I roll my eyes at his statement as I put the disk into the machine and throw one controller Gale's way before picking up one for myself "A girl playing Zombie Attack 3?" asks Cato in disbelief as he watches Gale and I configure the settings on the game and choose our own characters, of course I'm the kick ass solider and Gale's my sidekick, after all I'm way better at it than him.

"What's wrong with that?" I ask slightly offended by his offhand comment

"Girls don't play zombie games," he says watching as I shoot a couple zombies in the head with supreme accuracy

"You go around the back, I'll go round the front," Gale states simply even though he doesn't need to say anything, it's our usual game plan.

"So what, pretty boy? I like FIFA, GTA and any kind of shooting idiots game, wait!" I say pausing the game to look Cato in the eye "Do you think they'll make a game where I can shoot you?" Gale snorts as I un-pause the game

"What do you have against me?" he complains and I roll my eyes as I shoot another zombie and entering the back of the building

"It would be a lot easier if you asked what I like about you," I smirk, my eyes still watching the screen contently

"Seriously, what?"

"You, popular crowd, always taking the piss,"

"We don't take the piss!" he counters rather loudly

"Here, read what I got from Glimmer the other day, oh and Clove sent me a very nice video with a great slogan," I say tossing him my phone

"Nice phone case," he smirks, Gale got me the phone case last Christmas, it's a collage of pictures of me and Prim, me and Gale and the all boys soccer team Gale's on that I spend most my time with even though I can't play at the games even though I practice with them.

"Are you gonna read the messages or not?" I huff shooting a zombie in the head, the bullet whizzes straight through the first zombie, killing it, and embeds itself in the skull of another. Gale high fives me.

"Passcode?"

"Seven, seven, four, six," I say, he raises an eyebrow at me before typing it in and clicks on the messaging app. I recite the messages. "Four twenty six pm, Saturday 12th October, Glimmer Rambin- Oh look the whore thinks she can get away from us on the weekend, wrong, look at your Facebook profile skank. Four thirty two pm, what a skank. Four thirty six pm, watch your back. Four thirty nine pm, I bet you're inbred, such a skank. Four forty one pm, I'll see you tomorrow whore, have a nice night,"

"Katniss, I never knew-" I cut him off

"Then if you click on Clove's thread there's a rather lovely video where she tosses the knife up in the air and catches it says 'See you Monday, whore," now I've entered the building I notice a load of zombies coming in, filtering towards me through a small hallway. "Like fish in a barrel," I comment as Gale and I pick them off one by one. Cato locks my phone and places it down on the bed next to me.

"I better, um, bring the rest of my stuff in," he says hurrying out the room

"I don't see why he's so surprised," I say as we finished the level "I better go, Prim was gonna force me to go shopping with her, she still has some birthday money leftover that she wants to spend or something, later," I say grabbing my skateboard and heading to the door

"Katniss?" asks Gale using my full name

"Yeah?"

"Keep your head up."

Cato doesn't say anything as I leave, I just skate home.

* * *

When I get home, I open the front door.

"Katniss!" my mother hisses pulling me into the house and closing the door behind me "Where have you been? And what are you wearing?"

"I went to Gale's, his mom's boyfriend and his son are moving in and this?" I beckon to my outfit not realising that I hadn't changed out of my pyjamas which consisted of a pink Minnie Mouse t-shirt and grey fabric shorts and I of course finished the whole look off with Gale's navy blue hoodie to cover my arms. "Just something I picked out,"

"Oh Katniss," she sighs cupping her face in her hands out of stress

"Relax no one saw me apart from that old lady with the rat, not that she cares, Gale and Cato,"

"Cato?" she asks

"Yeah, Cato, Gale's mom's boyfriend's son,"

"Surname?"

"God, why do you care?" I huff walking towards the living to go to the stairs "Prim wants to go on a shopping trip, so I better get changed-"

"Miss Everdeen-" I turn to see Peeta Mellark, the senior class president, he's in my year at school and he's pretty popular... and best friends with Cato but unlike Cato, Peeta's actually pretty nice. "Oh, hey Katniss," he smiles, suddenly I'm blushing like an idiot

"The Mellark's are here for lunch, so your shopping trip with Prim will have to wait," my mother says just as Prim enters the living room to see what's going on

"Oh," Prim pouts

"Hallelujah," I say at the same time, Prim sends me a glare and I laugh whilst ruffling her hair "I better go change," I say running upstairs

"Wear something nice!" my mother calls after me.

_Pfft! As if._

I call Gale as I search through my closet for some black jeans and a shirt of some kind.

"Hey," he says picking up the phone

"How's hell?" I ask balancing my phone between my ear and my shoulder

"The worst, there's a football practice on in a couple hours, you up to it?"

"The Mellark's are having lunch with us, I could try and sneak out,"

"Rebel," Gale jokes

"I don't know, I might just go back to bed after being rudely awoken this morning,"

"Boring,"

"Tired," I say mimicking his tone

"So the Mellark's huh? How is Mr President?" he asks referring to Peeta, Gale and Peeta have never really seen eye to eye but Gale says that he's pretty hard to hate

"He was enjoying the view of me in my pyjamas and your hoodie," I say pulling some jeans out my closet and swapping them clumsily as I very carefully continue to balance my phone between my ear and my shoulder, after buttoning them up I continue to scour my closet for a shirt that covered my arms, if not I would wear Gale's hoodie even though it was way too big for me.

"What do you mean?"

"My mother was getting on at me about what I was wearing outside the house,"

"Minnie Mouse is cute on you!" I can hear him pout down the phone

"Sometimes I wonder about your sexuality," I laugh

"Love you too," he laughs "I gotta go, the douchebag boyfriend wants me to help Cato unload the rest of the boxes,"

"Later," I say hanging up, I throw off Gale's hoodie and it lands on my bed, I exchange my pink Minnie Mouse t-shirt for a white tank top and then pull on a giant dark green knitted jumper that hangs off one shoulder, it has arms that reach further than my fingertips after knotting it around my fingertips enough times from trying to stop myself from punching Glimmer and Clove, considering that it was a fairly new jumper the urge to punch either of the two girls was very... tempting to say the least.

I exit my room whilst braiding my hair down my back as it usually hangs and hop down the stairs.

"Hey Katniss," Peeta smiles, he's sat on the couch next to Prim who's showing him something or other

"Hey," I say leaning up against the door frame

"Nice pyjamas," he says with a smile that makes me blush, I tug at my sleeves with my fingers, pulling the sleeves further down my arms, not that I want to punch Peeta. I don't. I'm just anxious, I guess.

My phone dings indicating that I have just received a text, I dig my phone out from my back pocket and click on the message icon.

_How's your weekend whore? Do you want to know what I found out? You'll never guess. I guess you'll have to wait till tomorrow to find out. Bye whore.  
- Glimmer ;)_

"What is it?" asks Peeta as Prim hops into the kitchen, probably to talk to our mother

"Nothing," I say shoving my phone back into my back pocket

"It's not nothing," says Peeta standing up and walking towards me

"It's fine,"

"So you're not denying that there's nothing now," he says stepping closer to me "What is it, Katniss?" he says, his hands now touching my arm, I knot my fingers around the cuffs of my jumper even tighter

"It's nothing," I repeat

"You know you can tell me anything," he says his blue orbs staring into mine

"I'll let you know," I say, my hands slightly trembling

"Katniss! Peeta! Lunch!" my mother calls from the kitchen, I exit first, Peeta trailing beside me. Prim sits at the end of the table whilst Peeta's mother sits at the other end with her husband to her side. I sit next to my mother leaving Peeta to sit opposite me, his eyes never leave mine.

My phone dings indicating another text. I slip it out my pocket and take a look.

_I know your dirty little secret. Watch your back Monday, slut.  
- Clove_

"Who is it dear? Is it important?" asks my mother nosily, I quickly lock my phone and place it on the table

"Just Gale, he wants to know whether I'm going to training," I lie and Peeta's eyes lock onto mine

"Training?" asks Peeta's mother

"Yes, Katniss trains with the boys soccer team, although they don't let her play because it's a boys' league, but it gets her out the house and socialising," I never knew my mother to be such a formal socialite

"Shouldn't you play with girls, dear?" asks Mrs Mellark

"Gale and I started-" my mother cuts me off but once again Peeta's eyes capture mine again, watching me, always watching me

"She's made friends with all the boys, they sometimes come over and have pizza and whatnot, although I really think that she's too good for the boys' team," my mother says proudly

My phone dings again but I choose to ignore it.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" asks my mother "It could be important, something about training," reluctantly under the watching eyes of everyone at the table, I put my fork down next to my spaghetti that I wasn't even aware that I had started eating and pick up my phone, careful to keep it at an angle that my mother couldn't see the screen.

I type in my passcode before clicking the message icon.

"Katniss is quite the socialite," my mother boasts, Prim and Peeta raise their eyebrows and I try to contain my snort.

_Watch your back skank.  
- Glimmer_

I lock my phone and place it down on the table as casually as I can before picking up my fork with trembling my hands.

Glimmer and Clove are the ones that always manage to change my sleep patterns, they keep me on the edge and I'm beginning to think that I'm starting to teetering and the edge won't be there anymore, I'll fall off it.

"Was it Gale? About training? Because I was thinking that we could have some family time this afternoon,"

"Um, no, it was Finnick sending me one of his lame jokes," I lie and then I realise my error, Peeta's friends with Finnick and if he asks Finnick then he'll know for sure that I was lying

"His jokes are never funny," says Peeta, his eyes closely following me.

Peeta and I are more mutual friends, generally through Finnick and Marvel who attend soccer training, fortunately for them they get to play at the games.

I look down at my food and my phone dings again. Once again the eyes turn to me. I quickly check the sender before locking my phone without even daring to look at the message.

"Aren't you going to answer?" asks Mrs Mellark "That's a little rude,"

"It's, um, just my network, some rubbish about deals probably, nothing important," I say, Peeta's knowing eyes tell another story.

My phone dings ten times in the next two minutes.

"Excuse me," I say standing from the table and I exit the room, I close the door behind me and stand in the hallway. I check the messages. They're all from Clove and Glimmer or their army of skanks.

_Bitch._

_Loser._

_I wonder who you're whoring around with right now._

_Whore._

_Inbred_

_Freak of nature._

_Slut._

_I bet you're whoring around with the whole soccer team._

_Skank._

_Freak._

I feel numb and then I hear my mother speak.

"Anyone would think she has a secret boyfriend or something!" the room erupts with laughter and I feel my face heat up.

If she knew the truth...

I put my phone on the coffee table and return to the kitchen.

"Sorry about that, wasn't important," I say sitting back down, Peeta sends me a worried look but I just look away.

* * *

After dinner my mother stays in the kitchen talking to Peeta's parents and Prim goes to her room to finish some homework leaving Peeta and I alone, we sit on the porch out the back with a hot chocolate each.

"So who was texting you or rather spamming you?" he asks putting his hot chocolate down next to him

"Let's not get bobbed down on details," I say shaking my head as I put my hot chocolate down next to me and I wrap my arms around myself

"And let's not hide anything from each other," he counters turning to look at me whilst I look out to the horizon, where the tree dances in the cold autumn breeze

"The things is Peeta, I don't know you, we're not even friends,"

"Right," he says a little disheartened "Nice to know where I stand," he says getting up

"Peeta! I'm sorry!" I say and he stops from walking inside and turns back to me "I just can't..." I search for the right word but nothing comes to mind "I just can't talk to people, it's not in my nature," he sits back down "I've hung out with guys all my life, other than Prim, and I don't really do heart-to-hearts,"

"I gathered," he states "You know, Katniss, it's ok to ask for help once in a while," I don't say anything and we sit in silence watching the world go by until Peeta leaves leaving me thinking, what's even the point?

So that night after our mother bows out of our so called family night after five minutes because there's some emergency at the hospital. It must be late at night when I decide turning my phone off is the best option when Prim comes scuttling in.

"Can I stay with you?" she pleads, my lips twitch upwards as I hold the covers up for her to slip into my bed easily. She cuddles up to me and I hold her in my arms until she falls asleep.

Once I'm certain that she's definitely asleep I pad, barefoot in my Minnie Mouse pyjamas and Gale's hoodie into the bathroom. I switch the light on and it shines brightly, squinting I make my way towards the sink and turn on the cold tap. I take off Gale's baggy hoodie and drop it on the floor, I take the razor from the cupboard and hold it against my skin.

_Whore. _

_Bitch. _

_Slut. _

_Skank. _

_Freak. _

_Loser._

The words whizz around my head. Am I really that useless that my own mother doesn't even want to spend time with me?

I look to the sink where the once colourless water now turns pink as red drips down from my arm.

It isn't the first time and it won't be the last.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys, chapter two! Woo! Thanks for all the reviews and follows, check out my blog on tumblr **TheHungerGamesGirl **and check out **NATE1576's story Blurred Lines**, it's pretty awesome, partly because I'm helping him ;) . And tell me who you want **#TeamPeeta **or **#TeamCato**

Let the games begin!

- Court

* * *

**CHAPTER TWO**

* * *

Monday morning had come painfully quickly and I was dreading it. What Clove and Glimmer meant by my dirty little secret was a complete mystery. I barely got any sleep and I was very aware of it. That morning Prim went back into her own room to get ready for school whilst I changed. I changed into something that wouldn't draw attention to myself, jeans, and a dark green long sleeved shirt along with my cheap converse fakes.

I hear the horn of Gale's truck outside so I grab an apple, kissing Prim on the side of her forehead, tug her two braids once and exit the house.

"Took your time," Gale shouts from his truck, I roll my eyes and get in

"I was saying goodbye to Prim," I say shoving the apple in my mouth as I braid my hair, Gale pulls out of my drive and as I braid my hair as he continues talking.

"So how was your family night?" he asks and I send him a look as I tie off the end of my braid and take the apple out my mouth

"She had to work," I say with a mouthful of apple

"You're an animal," he laughs taking the apple from my hands and taking a bite before passing it back, I throw my apple core into a passing field before pulling up in the school parking lot.

"Welcome to hell," I mutter as we get out his truck and head our separate ways to our lockers. Glimmer walks past and slams my locker shut nearly trapping my fingers in it, therefore locking it, then she laughs with Clove, who looks a little guilty, which surprises, before trotting away in those stupid high heels she owns.

I huff and unlock my locker again and take out the books I need before heading to my lessons for the day with a sigh feeling a bit down.

* * *

Through out the lessons I've had today I've had several pieces of crunched up paper thrown at me, all of which have contained 'I know your dirty little secret,' or various insults when in reality I'd like to know what my so called dirty little secret is.

At lunch I slip out of the classroom and head to my locker where I find Gale already waiting for me.

"What's up?" I ask opening my locker and getting some books out for the next couple lessons

"Are you training tonight?"

"It's Monday, Gale, use your brain, I'm working at Rex's tonight," Rex was a twenty two year old that owned Rex's Records and I worked there every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from four till seven. Rex and I had become pretty good friends and he'd order different types of take out for when the store was less busy so that I didn't have to 'die of starvation during my shift' as Rex put it.

Rex was your average music junkie, his store had a load of old vinyl's that I loved looking through but he also had several CDs lining the shelves. Almost always his dirty blonde hair was covered with a grey beanie and he wore some sort of band t-shirt with skinny jeans and a leather jacket, along with real converse... unlike mine.

"Oh yeah," he says dumbly and we walk into the cafeteria, Gale sees one of his friends and says he'll be right back before running off. I walk over to our usual table when I see Peeta Mellark walk over to me as I sit down.

"Hey Katniss," he smiles

"Um, hi," I say

"Do you wanna come sit with us? I'd hate to see you sit alone," I peer around at his table and see that Cato's there, he's stopping talking and is looking my way with a casual smile, meanwhile Glimmer and Clove, and their new recruit Delly Cartwright, glaring at me. Clove doesn't notice until Glimmer taps her on the shoulder, what is wrong with Clove all of a sudden... she seems really out of it.

"No, I'm good," I say knowing that I really didn't want to sit with the two girls that had made my life hell and possibly the new third. "Gale will be back in a minute,"

"Come on, sit with us," he practically begs

"I'm good," the he stops pouting and turns serious

"Does it have anything to do with you the texts you kept getting yesterday?"

"No," I say a little too quickly, I immediately want to hit my head against the table "It's not that," I say trying to cover up "It's just Gale... wants to fill me in with what I missed at training," I lie

"Ok, but you're welcome to join us," he smiles and my lips twitch upwards in reply before he walks back to the table before being verbally attacked by Glimmer, probably for 'talking to a slut like me.'

Just then Gale slides into the seat opposite mine.

"So what was that all about?"

* * *

I enter Rex's Records, the bell on the door signally my arrival with a joyful ding, the exact opposite of my mood.

"Hey Katniss," Rex smiles from behind the counter, he's looking at some vinyl's I haven't seen before

"Did you get a new order?" I ask hanging my bag up in the back room and walking up next to him

"Yeah, Sex Pistols and Black Sabbath, pretty cool right?" he says obviously stoked, I smile in reply "I need to sort out some stuff in the back, are you ok to man the cash register?"

"Of course," I say with a smile and he replies with a toothy grin before bobbing into the back room.

For a couple minutes, I browse through the computer so that my playlist plays through the speakers.

I'm casually humming to the Arctic Monkeys, Arabella, when the bell on the door chimes signally that someone has entered the store. I look up to see Glimmer, Clove and Delly. Glimmer's eyes lock with my and an evil smirk grows upon her facial features.

"Hey Katniss," she smiles sweetly before catching up with her friends, she looks around the store, her fingers grazing the CDs and vinyl's, this whole act seems bittersweet. Glimmer's eyes never leave mine, her blue eyes look threatening and powerful but I'm not the type to cower in the corner like she wants me to.

A couple minutes pass and the stare down continues and they all waddle over to the counter and place down a 'Party Mix' CD.

I scan the item and they pay for it. Glimmer simply slurps her extra large Starbucks Ice Tea, which is in a clear container.

"You know," says Glimmer sweetly, too sweetly "You really need a shower," she says and with that she rips the lid off her Starbucks and throws it over me "Oops, sorry whore,"

I was ready to punch her.

I was going to punch but Rex walks in.

"You wouldn't believe-" he stops in his tracks "Get out," he says to Glimmer and her friends, they look at Rex as if he's high "I said get out, I will not allow you to harass one of my employees, not to mention harassment is against the law and you could go to prison," he says loudly, the three girls cower before running out the store as fast as their stupid high heels can carry them.

"Are you ok?" he asks

"Yeah, just a little... wet," I shrug

"I'll go find you a shirt," he says running upstairs, the great thing about Rex's store is that he lives upstairs, or so he says. He comes back downstairs in a couple seconds and hands me a t-shirt.

A t-shirt.

Shit.

My arms.

"I can't," I say handing it back to him "I'm ok, I'll dry off,"

"No employee of mine is going to look like she's been swimming in God knows what, all day long," he says thrusting the t-shirt back into my hands

"I can't," I repeat

"Why not?" he asks clutching my arm, I contain my hiss as he touches the cuts, I had hoped that the pain hadn't registered on my face but I was wrong. Rex gulps slowly. "Show me your arms," he orders

"No," I reply

"If you've got nothing to hide you'll show me your arms," I don't reply, I just bite the inside of my lip and pray that he shrugs and forgets about it. He doesn't. He pushes my sopping wet sleeves up himself... he sees the cuts. "I'm gonna go get take out, I'll be back in five, just change your shirt and meet me upstairs," and with that he exits the store, switching the sign to closed as he leaves.

I visibly tremble, but I get myself into the back room where I exchange my shirt for Rex's and put mine in my backpack.

I go upstairs and sit on the couch, still trembling.

He knows, he must think that Glimmer's right now, that I'm a freak and a whore or whatever she's decided to spread now. The situation terrifies me. It's like I'm prey waiting to be eaten alive. I sit awkwardly picking at my thumbs terrified of what he'll say... of what he'll do... of who he'll tell...

Everyone will just think I'm a bigger weirdo, someone that's so useless she can't even control her own emotions. You know what they say about people who cut, their just attention seekers. But I know that wasn't it, I didn't want anyone to find mine...

I'm still visibly shaking when I hear the front door open and close, then I hear his footsteps on the stairs and the sound of a rustling plastic bag.

My heart beats erratically in my chest as the door opens and closes behind him. I want to say something but I know nothing will come out right. So I suffer silently.

He hands me my usual McDonald's burger and fries but right now I don't think I could swallow anything, I'm pretty much struggling with air right now.

"We need to talk about this," he states sitting down on the other end of the sofa "This is serious, Katniss," he says

"I-I know," I stutter out

Well done Katniss, now you sound like a bumbling idiot!

"Why, Katniss? You're a beautiful, smart, funny, intelligent girl, why would you do that?"

"You wouldn't understand..." I say hiding away under the hair that has come loose from my hair

"Try me," he says tucking the loose strand of hair behind my ear

"It's that girl, Glimmer and her friends..." I start

"Not the nicest person, is she?"

"No," I almost laugh "She says she knows 'my dirty little secret' but I don't even know what that is,"

"Then it can't be anything important, have they... been doing anything... like physical to you?"

"The most physical it gets is shoving me in hallways, slamming my locker shut and the whole ice tea incident, I think they prefer cyberspace,"

"Does anyone else know?" he asks "About the... cutting?" I just shake my head and look down "How's your mother, these days?"

"At work, mostly, I think it affects Prim the most,"

"How is that adorable little creature?" I laugh at his way of describing Prim

"Great, she just doesn't like it when mom misses another family night or has to work extra hours," then we break into normal conversation and we sit eating our McDonald's as if nothing has ever happened.

* * *

Rex decides to walk me home, in case Glimmer is lurking in the shadows or something. I just laughed.

We stand outside my house, looking at one another.

"Well... I better go," I say turning but Rex grabs my arm loosely, avoiding pain

"Katniss..." he starts "Just remember, I'm here for you, whenever you need it,"

"Thanks Rex," I smile and he hugs me, I hug him back awkwardly... I'm not much of a hugger...

"See you tomorrow, sunshine," he smirks "We'll keep this between us... for now anyway."

* * *

**FOLLOW ME ON TUMBLR at TheHungerGamesGirl, secretivemuch is in the description.**


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys, thanks for all the reviews and follows and everything, you can follow my blog on tumblr **TheHungerGamesGirl** and stay cool. I hope you like this chapter!

Let the games begin!

- Court

* * *

**CHAPTER THREE**

* * *

"Where's your lunch?" it's lunchtime and I'm sat with Gale at our usual table... I haven't told him about last night, Gale doesn't really like Rex.

"Not hungry, I had a big breakfast," I lie, I didn't have any breakfast, I just didn't want to eat, I just couldn't stomach it.

"Posy wants you to come over," he says with a small smile

"I've got to work tonight, genius,"

"After work, you can stay over," he states

"You know my mother doesn't like me staying out late," I lie

"Your mother doesn't care," he states and the funny thing is, that I know that he's right

"What about Prim?"

"I talked to Rue this morning and she's happy to have her over,"

"What is with you and charming the freshman?" I laugh "I better go, I have P.E next and I kinda want to miss the crowds,"

"See you later," he smiles as I leave the cafeteria. I get to my locker and take out my P.E kit before walking into the changing room.

I look around, there's no one in here, not yet anyway. I try to change as quickly as possible. I pull on my grey shorts and swap my white t-shirt for the school emblem P.E shirt then put my navy blue hoodie over the top to cover my arms. I tie my trainers as Glimmer and her cronies walk in.

"Oh look, it's Katpiss Neverclean," says Clove, she sounds a little... off, I ignore Clove and continue to tie my laces

"You look even fatter in that," says Glimmer flipping her hair "Of course, I would never wear anything from Wal-Mart, it's diseased although must make the stench better," now it's Delly's turn, their new recruit, she has to do it else she'll be ridiculed too. That's how all this started... They wanted me to be mean, but I couldn't, they wanted me to insult Annie Cresta... I refused and they moved onto me, it's been like that ever since.

"How many guys is it now, Neverclean?" she says bitterly but she sends me an apologetic look when Glimmer and Clove aren't looking, but it still hurts.

Glimmer walks over to me in her high heels, they tap against the cold concrete floor as she totters closer to me. Her pink talons clutch the hem of my shirt and pull it up. Some other girls enter the changing room but they don't do anything, their loud chatter stops and they just silently get changed.

"Anyone would think you're a man," laughs Glimmer

"A _fat_ man," Delly adds with emphasis on the fat, Clove stays quiet

"Don't worry," Glimmer says walking away, she flicks her hair around and gives me one last look "A paedophile wouldn't screw you,"

I exit the changing room quickly now that they've decided to leave me alone. I understand that Delly was trying to save her own skin but it still stung, but I wouldn't let that show, it's what they want.

I walk out into the track field to find my teacher, Enobaria.

"Ah Katniss, we're just running laps today, you can get started now," she states, I don't even bother to nod I just start running. My stomach growls as I run, I ignore it, my mind is somewhere else.

I finish the lap quickly and start another when Glimmer, Delly and Clove come out, they don't even bother trying, whilst I'm still sprinting.

Soon I complete another lap and I'm just about the pass Glimmer and Clove, who are still running, but you couldn't even call it running, even their trainers have heels.

"Whore," they say loud enough for other people to hear, the other girls in my class laugh, but not loud enough for Enobaria to hear it, not that she'd care. Before, they've tripped me and Enobaria told me to 'suck it up and ignore them.' Which is pretty hard considering everything I do is one big joke them... sometimes I just feel so alone.

I continue running and my stomach growls again, I ignore it, if I eat now it might just make a reappearance. I see the boys come out the gym and go to the football field with their teacher Brutus, among them is Gale, Peeta and Cato. I shake off the feeling of being hungry and continue running.

I pass Glimmer and Clove again, my stomach growls.

"Katniss, I know we've just had lunch, but hungry again? You really are a fat cow," says Delly, Glimmer laughs triumphantly and Clove bites her lip, I run again. I push back the feelings of hurt and sadness and the loudest voice in my head telling me to beat them to a pulp, this isn't Zombie Attack 3, I can't just shoot them in the head, as nice as that sounds, they'll fight back and I know that I'll be the one in trouble and they'll be the ones that get off scot-free.

I notice that Glimmer stops as I make round another lap. She pretends to tie her laces and I don't know why I'm stupid enough to fall for running past her because she sticks her leg out and I trip over it.

Everything goes into slow motion and I'm falling and there's nothing I can do about it. I know no one will catch, how could they? They'd just get ridiculed by Glimmer and Clove too. No one is willing to do that.

I fall and my body hits the ground like a boulder... I feel so... fat. Before I can get up, or even move, my eyes find the back of my eyelids and I pass out and all I see is darkness. I'm alone, again.

* * *

I wake up in the nurse's office with an ice pack on my head. When did I get here? I sit up and find myself sore all over.

"Ah Miss Everdeen, you're awake," says the nurse trotting into the room, Miss Trinket is definitely something "You caused quite the controversy,"

"I did?"

"Yes dear," she says taking my blood pressure "The boys on the soccer pitch by where you were running track ran over, that was quite an accident,"

_It wasn't an accident_, I want to shout, but I know I can't, Glimmer wouldn't let me live it down.

"And skipping meals is definitely not a good thing," she says eyebrows raised "Why would you do that, dear? You're a pretty, skinny girl, why would you do that?"

"I wasn't hungry," I lie

"Well, last period is nearly over, I want you to go eat, so I'm letting you go early,"

"Thank you," I say jumping down from the bed

"It's nice to find someone with manners in here, most people that come in here are savages! Boys getting into fights, I cannot deal with them!" she smiles shooing me out the door.

I find Gale outside with my bag, he comes over to me and hugs me tightly.

"Jesus Catnip, you really scared me," he says

"Sorry,"

"Don't apologise," he smile throwing his arm over my shoulder, he carries my bag with his other hand, I shift uncomfortably under his arm, but Gale doesn't notice "I called your boss and told him what's gone on today, he's letting you have the rest of this week off,"

"You didn't have to do that,"

"Well with you spending the night at mine, I thought we could really just chill, watch a couple movies, play a couple video games but right now, we're going to McDonald's,"

"Ok..." I say awkwardly.

Gale drives me to McDonald's and we sit in the booth in the corner with a double cheese burger, fries and a Coca Cola each.

"So what happened after... I passed out?"

"Well, I watched the whole thing, I ran over and turns out that my dearest room mate did as well as his best friend, Mr President,"

"Cato and Peeta ran over?"

"I did too!"

"I know, dummy,"

"I actually carried you to the nurse's office,"

"Show off," I laugh "But I'm surprised... that they would do that,"

"Well ever since you showed Cato those texts from Glimmer and Clove... he's not been as douche-y,"

"Weird," I say eating a French fry

"He even asks about you," I almost choke on my drink

"What?"

"It's quite subtle really, we'll just sit there in my room and he'll just be like 'so your friend, Katniss, how's she doing?'"

"Weird,"

"I know," we sit talking for a while as we finish our food and Gale drives me to his house.

* * *

We sit on Gale's bed playing cards as we wait for Posy to get home from school. I hear the front door open and footsteps coming up the stairs. Gale's bedroom door opens and Cato walks in talking to Peeta as Gale places his cards down.

"Full house," he says with a smirk

"Straight flush," I say with an even bigger smirk placing my cards down on his bed

"How do you do that?" he sulks "Every damn time!" I laugh

"That was quite a fall earlier," says Cato and I roll my eyes

"Considering it was your girlfriend that implemented the trip, I would back off," I say crossing my arms, Peeta looks a little shocked by my outburst

"She's not my girlfriend," he snarls

"Well she's your whore, details, details," I say

"She's not my whore, I've never actually touched the girl," he states

"I second that," says Peeta "You wouldn't touch that if you know what's good for you,"

"Too much disease," laughs Cato and I'm brought back to what Glimmer said in the changing room earlier

"I'm going to see Posy," I say getting up from the bed and walking across the hall to Posy's room, I knock the door lightly before entering.

"Kitty!" she shouts, she's one of the only things that makes my life worth living, her cute little smile, those adorable little chubby arms and her laugh. She runs up to me and I swing her round in the air and put her down on the ground. We sit colouring for a while until someone knocks on the door and Cato enters.

"Um, Katniss, Gale's ordering pizza, that good for you?"

"Yeah," I smile

"Um, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure," I say standing up, I ruffle Posy's hair before following her out her room into the hallway "So what do you want?" I ask folding my arms

"I wanted to see it you're ok,"

"I'm sorry if this sounds rude, but why do you care?"

"I don't even know, I just, god this sounds weird, I feel something, like I have to protect you,"

"I don't need protecting," I bite back

"I know, but it won't stop me feeling it, god I sound crazy, I guess I just want to be friends and not worry about whatever shit Glimmer's spreading now, don't let her define you, sorry, I should go," and with that he leaves me in the hallway thinking.

_If what he says is so strange, why do I feel the same?_

* * *

**Remember to check out my blog on tumblr** **TheHungerGamesGirl**,** where I general blog and post covers!**


	4. Chapter 4

Hey guys, thanks for all the great reviews, I'm glad you like this story because I've had fun writing it. Now Glimmer gets a long anticipated talking to in this but as any villain in any story it won't be the last of her. So keep an eye out for the next chapter!

Let the games begin.

- Court

* * *

**CHAPTER FOUR**

* * *

It's the middle of the night at Gale's and I slip out of the bed Gale set up for me, I'm wearing one of his t-shirts and it's massive on me, I have on of his hoodies as well, to cover my arms, considering that Peeta, Gale and Cato are all sleeping in the same room as me it's not the most comfortable of positions.

Gale and I had played FIFA with Cato and Peeta until the late hours of the night before we decided that we'd better go to sleep for tomorrow.

My phone buzzed for the billionth time tonight.

_Whore._

The message was from Glimmer as per usual. I roll my eyes and shove my phone in the pocket of the hoodie I was wearing. I slip on my converse and silently slip down the stairs, I grab a ball from the box on the porch and head out to Gale's back yard.

I start practicing keepy-uppys with my earphones in listening to The Arctic Monkeys. I sing along quietly as I become more confident and more daring with the keepy-uppys.

_Arabella's got some interstellar-gator skin boots _  
_And a helter skelter 'round her little finger and I ride it endlessly _  
_She's got a Barbarella silver swimsuit _  
_And when she needs to shelter from reality she takes a dip in my daydreams_

_My days end best when this sunset gets itself _  
_Behind that little lady sitting on the passenger side _  
_It's much less picturesque without her catching the light _  
_The horizon tries but it's just not as kind on the eyes_

_As Arabella _  
_As Arabella _  
_Just might have tapped into your mind and soul _  
_You can't be sure_

_Arabella's got a 70's head _  
_But she's a modern lover _  
_It's an exploration, she's made of outer space_  
_ And her lips are like the galaxy's edge _  
_And her kiss the colour of a constellation falling into place_

_My days end best when this sunset gets itself _  
_Behind that little lady sitting on the passenger side _  
_It's much less picturesque without her catching the light _  
_The horizon tries but it's just not as kind on the eyes_

_As Arabella _  
_As Arabella _  
_Just might have tapped into your mind and soul _  
_You can't be sure_

_That's magic in a cheetah print coat_  
_ Just a slip underneath it I hope_  
_ Asking if I can have one of those_  
_ Organic cigarettes that she smokes _  
_Wraps her lips -_someone starts to sing with me and I turn around and catch the ball to find Peeta who finishes the song_- round the Mexican coke_  
_ Makes you wish that you were the bottle _  
_Takes a sip of your soul and it sounds like…_

_Just might have tapped into your mind and soul You can't be sure._

"I didn't know you liked The Arctic Monkeys," he smirks

"Well... I do," I say taking out my earphones and shoving them in my pocket

"So what are you doing out here at three in the morning?"

"Oh, you know, doing keepy-uppys," I say kicking the ball up in the air and kicking back up with my other foot

"What's the real reason you're out here?"

"I can't sleep, is that a good enough reason for you Mellark?" I snap "Sorry,"

"So Glimmer and Clove, huh?" he says as I drop the ball and kick it to him, he kicks it back

"What about them?" I ask kicking the ball to him

"They're the ones sending you the texts, aren't they?" I miss the ball and stand still, I stay silent "Katniss, what's going on?"

"If I tell you can you stop talking about it?"

"Yeah," he says with a light smile

And that's how I ended up telling Peeta everything, minus a few details, that kind of information was staying with Rex and Rex alone.

"You know, Katniss," he say as we sit on the porch together "You are one of the strongest people I've ever met," I roll my eyes in response but he grabs my chin and looks me straight in the eye "Don't ever try to convince yourself otherwise."

* * *

After I return home to get changed, I swap yesterday's clothes for black skinny jeans, a white tank top and a big maroon jumps that hangs off one shoulder. I re-braid my hair as I grab an apple and leave the house.

I get outside with the apple in my mouth as I tie off my braid, Gale pulls onto the side of the road so that I can get in, but I stop, there are other people in his car. Cato and Peeta to be precise.

I send Gale a look before getting in the back so that I'm sitting next to Peeta.

"Hi..." I say awkwardly

"Cato thought it'd be easier for us all to share a car seeing as we're all going to the same place," whispers Peeta, I just put my headphones in and listen to music for the whole journey. We get out the car and people turn as stare as they watch the two most popular guys in school get out Gale's truck. I feel like I should hide or something, Glimmer and Clove will definitely be using this against me.

I hurry towards the front doors of the school but Cato runs up next to me.

"What do you want?" I hiss quietly trying to avoid everyone's stares

"Just wondering how you are," he smiles

"You've been doing a lot of that lately," I say quietly

"What?"

"Nothing," I say "I'm fine, you can go now,"

"What if I want to hang out with you?" he asks

"You have a reputation to uphold and I have someone or rather some people I would rather avoid and with you here, talking to me, neither of those things will happen, so run along,"

"What class do you have next?" he asks unfazed, I huff in annoyance

"Why do you care?" I complain, everyone's eyes are still on us, I feel self conscious and find myself tugging on my sleeves

"What class do you have next?" he repeats ignoring with my question

"English, now leave me the hell alone," I say rather loudly before stalking away to my locker. I open my locker, I remove the stuff I need for English and slam my locker shut.

_Calm down, Katniss, you're drawing unnecessary attention to yourself._

I walk to English and sit down in my seat at the back of the class, thank whoever's up there because when they did my timetable, they didn't put Glimmer or Clove or their new recruit Delly in my English class.

"Good morning everyone," says Mrs Seeder, entering the room "We're going to start a project," the class is filled with groans and complaints whilst I sit in silence "You're going to work in pairs-" I can practically feel everyone sending their friend's that look whilst I just sit there knowing that no one will want to pair up with me "-But because we're a small class I talked to Mr Hart, who teaches the other small English group to join our class," there are some whispers amongst the class, I continue to sit in silence.

A couple minutes go by and there's a soft knock at the door to the classroom, Mr Hart opens the door wide letting his students enter.

"Pair up," he orders, I watch as people find their friends and once again I'm left there sitting, alone, again. Then Glimmer and Clove walk in and I visibly sigh.

"Don't you just hate it when the bitches walk into the classroom," I turn to see Cato leaning over my desk, I roll my eyes and he takes my bag from the empty seat next to me and sits down.

"What are you doing?"

"Sitting with my partner," he smirks

"This is gonna be a long project," I complain quietly

"Right," Mrs Seeder says clapping her hands together "For this project I was you to give a presentation to the class about your partner, the title of this project is Who You Are, you can talk about them, you can read out an essay, you can make a PowerPoint or even movie, doesn't matter as long as you do it and do it well, you have till the end of the year, so make it worth our time!"

I sigh, this means I have to get closer to Cato, and that means more torment from Glimmer and her cronies and that means that in turn I probably will end up getting closer to Peeta.

Today just keeps getting better and better. Not.

* * *

"So partner," says Cato joining me and Gale at our table, I roll my eyes and Gale sends me a look

"What do you want, Cato?" I groan knowing that everyone's eyes on us

"We need to do this project," he smirks "Which means we have to hang out," Gale's eyes find mine "I think we should do something sometime," Glimmer walks past just as he says that. She stops and turns back to face me, a devious smirk on her face.

"So you're whoring around with Cato now?" she smirks "I would stay away, Cato, she's a boring fat cow," she goes to walk away but Cato stops her

"What did you just say?" he spits venomously

"She's a fat boring cow, probably diseased, I would stay away if I were you,"

"Shut up," he snaps

"Excuse me?" she asks shocked

"I said shut up," everyone in the cafeteria have their eyes on us and I'm beginning to feel very self conscious "I'm sick of you bitching to everyone, Katniss this, Katniss that, anyone would think you're in love with her for God's sakes!"

"Ha! You think I could like that trash? What are you, retarded?"

"Don't you dare, you know what Glimmer? You're a twat and you need to get over the fact that you're jealous of a wonderful person called Katniss Everdeen," I do a double take at his words "So why don't you fuck off to wherever the hell you came from," Glimmer huffs before stomping away "Good riddance to bad news,"

But I knew, that wouldn't be the last of Glimmer.


	5. Chapter 5

Hey guys, I would have updated this last night but my browser wasn't working but now it is so here's you're new chapter, that also gave me a chance to start writing chapter six so that might be updated later on today.

**#TeamPeeta or #TeamCato YOU DECIDE**

Let the games begin.

- Court

* * *

**CHAPTER FIVE**

* * *

I was alone, in the house, again... and Glimmer was texting me.

_7:46pm  
So you've a boyfriend now? Huh? I bet he's only with you for the sex cause of your reputation of a whore, yes everybody knows about that, so why don't you do us all one big favour and go die. It would make life a whole lot easier._

_7:49pm  
You're disgusting, you know that? You're just some diseased animal that no one cares about. You know I said to Clove earlier "Wouldn't it be a whole lot easier if Katniss Everdeen just went and killed herself? I mean no one cares and she'd be doing us all a favour, at least she hasn't had time to breed, then we'd all be screwed."_

_7:50pm  
Maybe I should book you an appointment at the vets, it'll either be to get you neutered or maybe they could just put you down. It would be my please. You're welcome._

_7:51pm  
Are you inbred?_

_7:53pm  
I need to tell you something. I don't know what Cato sees in you, maybe it's just because you're easy._

_7:54pm  
You're welcome._

_7:55pm  
Just die already._

_7:57pm  
You're so fat. Time to embrace bulimia. You're welcome._

_8:01pm  
There was a death pool on you and I bet that you wouldn't make it to 19._

_8:03pm  
You seem a little off balance. Today was just a technicality, you know how it is Katniss, you step out of line and I smack you back down and then you get me a latte. Insubordination is not your thing, so I'm going to give you a little advice- you have to be cruel to be kind and your face is all kinds of cruel, not that it's kind to look it._

I scream and throw my phone at the wall and fall to my knees.

I wrap my arms around myself.

I can't take this anymore.

My phone lies on the floor, unharmed, still buzzing from numerous texts from Glimmer, I don't even have to look to know.

I crawl into the bathroom and hold the blade to my arm, I know it won't fix anything but it will make me feel better... for a little while at least. I shake as I hold it to my skin and swipe across. Blood rolls down my arm and I don't both to wipe it away, I just let the pain of what I just did sink in.

Everything is just too much.

I do it again and again.

Someone knocks on the front door and I jump. Hurriedly I pull my sleeve down and rush to the front door.

"Hey," Cato smiles as I open the door

"Um hi,"

"Are you busy?"

"Yeah, kinda-"

"In an empty house? I'm coming in," he says barging through "Nice house," he comments sitting on the sofa in the living room. I'm still shaking and I bite the inside of my lip. "So this project-" he starts but I cut him off

"I'm busy tonight, I appreciate that you had a go at Glimmer earlier for me, but I'm busy tonight," I say trying to get him to leave

"I didn't for it for you, she had that coming,"

"I don't mean to sound rude, but will you please get out?"

"Katniss," he says grabbing my arm, his face deadly serious "Is that blood on your sleeve?" my eyes flit to my sleeves so see that blood has seeped through the fabric of my hoodie

"Just paint," I manage to say

"You're a bad liar," he says taking me by the elbow to the kitchen. He sits me down on the chair and orders me to take off my hoodie. I bite my lip and I obey.

Cato doesn't say anything, he just gets an anti-bacterial wipe out from one of the cupboards and holds it to my arm.

"It's going to sting," he says and I nod before he starts cleaning the cuts, he doesn't say anything until he's bandaged my arm up. "I'm not going to ask why, I know why," he says "Can I see the messages?"

"What's the point?" I say burying my face in my hands, I feel Cato put his arms around me and he rests his chin on my head

"The point is that we need to do something about it,"

"We?" I ask looking up

"Yeah," he smiles

"Thanks," I whisper

"It's what I'm here for,"

"I mean to sound rude but.. why do you care?"

"Let's just say I'm talking from personal experience that it won't get better unless you have someone on your side."

* * *

Cato and I sit watching movies in the living room, he looked at the messages from earlier, he told me to tell him if she sends another message, which is pretty hard because that's all the time.

"I'm home," says Prim entering the house, I smile and sit up, with the blanket wrapped around me like a cape, she runs over and hugs me "Where's mom?"

"Work." I reply simply

"As always," she sighs and then she spots Cato "Uh, hi,"

"Hi," he smiles "I'm Cato,"

"Prim," she smirks "Katniss, you didn't say that you had a boyfriend!"

"Prim!" I shout, she laughs before running upstairs "Sorry about her,"

"So you're mom's out, huh?"

"So you're back to being the jerk that harassed me in Gale's drive?"

"You have nice legs!" he retorts and I laugh "I better go, so I'm home for dinner, Christian family and everything,"

"See you tomorrow," I smile walking with him to the front door

"Hang in there," he smiles tucking a piece of hair behind my ear before running outside to his truck and driving off into the sunset.

Now, I didn't feel quite so alone.

* * *

The next day I walk into school with Gale, Peeta and Cato. Everybody watches as Glimmer walks by and shoves me sideways. Gale catches me. One of these days I will snap and Glimmer, maybe Clove as well, will get punched. But Clove is nowhere to be seen.

At the lunch table I sit with Gale, Cato and Peeta. We're discussing our favourite football players when I turn to see that Glimmer and Delly aren't sat with Clove... weird... I thought she'd be here by now, where was Clove? Even though Clove had somewhat participated in the insults and jokes which we told at my expense.

"I've gotta pee," I say standing up "I'll meet you at my locker," I say picking my bag up, I didn't really need to go to the toilet but I wanted to look for Clove, as crazy as it sounds, I want to know if she's ok.

I walk past the girls' bathroom and stop. If I was looking for peace and quiet where no one would anything of me being in there, I would be hiding in a cubicle.

I push open the door and step in. I hear silence, the door closes behind me.

"Clove?" I say quietly, I hear breathing from the inside of the middle stall "Clove? Are you in there?"

"W-Who is it?" she asks shyly

"Katniss," I say

"W-what are you doing here?"

"I was worried about you," I state simply, she unlocks the cubicle and goes to stand in front of the sinks, she splashes her face with cold water, I watch her reflection in the mirror, her eyes are slightly puffy indicating that she's been crying, her eyes find mine in the mirror but she looks after.

"W-why w-would you be worried about m-me?" she asks looking at me through the mirror

"I know you're not the nicest person in the world but I know why you can't ever say no to Glimmer unless you want to be made a pariah, so I know you're not entirely bad, mostly because almost everything came from Glimmer,"

"You're so selfless," she says "What you did for that girl, Annie, it was just so selfless, I don't think I could ever have the courage to stand up to Glimmer like that,"

"I didn't really stand up to Glimmer, I just follow my own policies and Annie's a nice girl she didn't deserve any of it," I say and Clove smiles shyly

"Neither do you,"

"That won't stop Glimmer,"

"I know," she says "We used to be friends, freshman year, I met you in biology and somehow we both ended up finding Glimmer... worst mistake of my life,"

"We all make mistakes but what happens after we make those mistakes help shape the person you are and who you become," I say "What happened?" I ask

"How'd you know something happened? Did she tell you?"

"Glimmer? Talking to me? Like I'm a human being?" I snort which brings a small smile to Clove's lips "I just know these things, I knew one day you'd have had enough of the bullshit, we're were friends once, I know you Clove, a lot better than you think,"

"Yeah," she says with a small sadistic laugh

"What happened?" I ask "I won't judge,"

"I know you won't, that's the thing," says Clove "You should, you should judge me till the day you die because of the things I've said... because of the things that I helped Glimmer do, because of all the things I did,"

"I'm past that," I say, I was, well some of it, some things definitely still stung but it was what could be expected, how could I be able to get far in life without sorting everything wrong in my life out. "What happened?" I repeat

"I got wound up about this whole thing, it was a big of an epiphany moment, like in the movies," she laughs a little crazily but she continues "I guess I just snapped and I realised that I'm not where I want to be, I'm not who I want to be and that I had completely lost who I was in the process,"

"Why were you crying? You aren't the type to cry over that, something else happened, didn't it?"

"You're good at this," she says, her eyes look distant, as if she's far away "My little brother... he's only a couple months old, he's got Downs Syndrome and Glimmer said that she didn't want to be in the stay room as him, she said it might be contagious, which means that she couldn't hang out with me because I'm already contaminated," she sniffs

"Well she's a bigger idiot than I thought," I say and Clove laughs "What's his name?"

"Charlie," she smiles and I send her one back, as if returning a favour "Katniss..." she says in a whisper "I feel so alone,"

Alone.

That's how I had felt every day of high school life until a couple days ago.

"You will never be alone," I say putting my hands on her shoulders and looking her straight in the eye "Not whilst I'm still alive and kicking, preferably Glimmer," she laughs, it sounds nice to hear her real laugh not her venomous fake one.

"I don't know how you can do it," she confesses "If I were you I wouldn't be able to forgive me, why? Why have you forgiven me?"

"Because I know that being alone can kill you from the inside and slowly eat away at you and I will never let that happen to anyone else, not if I can help it, no one deserves that,"

I pull out my phone and Clove looks at me confused. I click on the message icon and delete the thread of messages Clove had sent me, the last one was weeks ago now. Forgive and forget.

Then I find something.

I stare at one of the texts Glimmer sent-

_You have to be cruel to be kind._

Yes, you have to be cruel to be kind.

* * *

Follow me on tumblr on my blog **TheHungerGamesGirl, it says secretivemuch in the description!**


	6. Chapter 6

Hey guys, two in one day eh? I think you'll love me and hate me for this chapter. I would say I'm sorry but I'm not. In this chapter I find that there is a lot of truth-

1. You can fight your demons (literally) but you won't necessarily become a better person after it

2. The people in your life can be the difference between loneliness and happiness

3. Older people are not always the wisest

4. People do bad things when they're angry.

There's nothing more to say than,

Let the games begin.

- Court

* * *

**CHAPTER SIX**

* * *

"What the hell!" those were Cato's first words as he sees Clove and I walking to my locker "What the hell is she doing here?"

"Calm down," I say coolly

"She's the girl that called you all those names, Katniss!" he shouts "What she reduced you to-" his voice catches and both Gale's and Peeta's eyes linger on me just for a second "Ugh!" he groans slamming his fists into the lockers

"Cato-" Peeta says putting his hand on his best friend's shoulder

"Not now," Cato growls

"Cato-" Peeta continues

"If you don't shut up, you'll be the one I punch," this shuts Peeta up "I need some air," and with that he storms out of the building

"Anyone else going to go?" asks Gale speaking up, Peeta shakes his head. I open my locker and take out my math books

"I would explain everything but I don't want to do it twice so whoever finds Cato first tell him that we're going to meet at mine," I state, Gale watches me tensely "If I can get past what Clove did, you can, now excuse me, Clove and I are going to head to math, see you at your truck Gale," and with that I slam my locker shut and Clove and I walk to math but my mind is elsewhere.

Please, don't let Cato punch anybody.

* * *

"Where's Cato?" I ask after a very tense truck ride to my house, I had to sit in the back with Clove because Peeta wouldn't sit with her and now we're in my room. I pace the room whilst Gale sits on my bed, Peeta sits in the chair across from my bed and Clove sits with her back against the wall, running her fingers through her hair.

My phone dings.

_4:23pm  
Want to know where Cato is?  
- Glimmer_

"What is it?" asks Peeta, Gale looks up but Clove stays in the same position

"Apparently Glimmer knows where Cato is,"

"God, I'm such an idiot," laughs Clove crazily

"What?" I ask turning to face her, she continues to laugh sadistically "What?" I repeat

"It was the plan all along, it wasn't about me or Charlie-"

"Who's Charlie?" asks Gale

"Not now," I hiss before turning back to Clove "Carry on,"

"It was all about you, Katniss, there's something she just hates about you,"

"Spit it out, Clove!"

My phone dings.

"Don't read it," she says but I do

_4:26pm  
He's in my bed. I'll give you one guess to what we were doing.  
- Glimmer_

I stare at the screen, then my phone dings again.

_4:27pm  
You're welcome.  
- Glimmer_

I scream and through my phone at the wall.

"What's going on?" asks Peeta, Gale just sits there absolutely baffled

"Cato... he-" I start but I can't find any words

"Cato had sex with Glimmer," say Clove "And I was so stupid to think that Glimmer would just let me go like that, I'm sorry Katniss,"

"It's fine, I don't care, he obviously didn't, there's no use crying over spilt milk, or so my father would've said," and with that I sit on the bed next to Gale and he puts his arm around my shoulders.

"How's ice cream and shooting zombies sound?" Gale says looking concerned

I turn to face Gale and bury my face into his shoulder before whispering "I love you."

* * *

The next day at school I totally freeze Cato out, Gale does the same muttering something about never trusting him cause he's always been a slime ball... Clove however seems to find any profanity there is and mixes it with an insult when he talks to us.

I think I finally understand Glimmer, well I understand why she'd do that with Cato but I'm not sure why she's doing this whole thing, it's been four years and I've about had enough.

I sit in English, Cato sits next to me trying to pick up some sort of conversation for the project even though I remain silent, already knowing what to put in his, ok so maybe I was angry, I had a right to be Cato had betrayed my trust the worst way possible, he had sided with Glimmer.

My phone vibrated and I slipped it out my pocked and read the message, Cato went quiet immediately.

_11:59am  
How's your English class, whore? Say hi to Cato for me. I heard you're sister is the cutest little thing, hopefully not for long. You're welcome.  
- Glimmer_

That was the final straw. My sister will not be a piece in her stupid games and neither will I. This is going to end and this is going to end today.

The bell rings and I shove my stuff in my bag before storming out the classroom, I hear Cato trying to follow me but I speed away and into the cafeteria where Glimmer will be soon.

I take a seat at my usual table with gritted teeth. I shove my sandwich in my mouth as soon as Gale sits down.

"How was English?" he asks calmly

"Hell,"

"Hey," says Peeta sliding into the seat next to Gale

"I got a text from Glimmer a minute ago, did you?" asks Clove slipping into the seat next to me, I nod, gritting my teeth at the mention of Glimmer's name.

Just then Glimmer enters the cafeteria, trotting in with Delly, I haven't seen Cato talk to her at all today, maybe he caught something off her, serves him right.

Glimmer likes to make an entrance, so she's at least five minutes late to everything, that way she gets people's attention, but right now she has mine.

"Glimmer," I say like some idiotic Barbie walking up to her, as she stands in the centre of the room, in the clearing. I look so different to her and Delly, they wear short skirts and low cut t-shirts whilst I wear jeans and a massive navy blue jumper and converse whilst they sway on their six inch heels.

"Yes?" she asks sweetly

And then my fist connects with her face.

The sound of the impact with my hand to her face makes the whole cafeteria stare, they're shocked silent, even my friends.

"You disgusting little whore!" she shouts

"That was for Charlie," then my lips form a smirk "You're welcome," and with that I turn around, my braid smacking her in the face and walk back to my table.

Glimmer screams and stomps her foot in annoyance before storming out the cafeteria, she wouldn't tell the principle because that means that I would tell on her, but she won't give up hating me. That's just not Glimmer.

My Peeta sits with his mouth wide open, Gale's smiling and Clove looks a little awestruck.

"Thank you," she whispers to me and I nod respectfully

"You can close your mouth now," Gale says to Peeta and I laugh

"Y-you p-punched Glimmer," Peeta stutters out completely shocked

"That was the best thing I have done in a very long time."

* * *

I get home and find a stick note taped to the door.

_Night shift. _

_-Mom_

I pull the note off the door and crumble into a ball before I toss it in the bin as I enter the house. I find Prim sat at the kitchen table doing her homework.

"Hey," I smile slipping into the seat next to her "Mom's working a night shift and I'm pretty sure I've got enough money to order pizza, interested?" I ask and she lifts her head and smiles at me, I laugh before dialling the number for the pizza place.

Twenty minutes later we're sat on the couch with our pizza watching Twilight, I'm not really that interested in but it's Prim's favourite movie. I'm more Team Edward and she's a total Team Jacob, her room proves it.

Prim sits mouthing the words and as Edward confesses his love to Bella, she syncs her lips with Edward and presses her hand to her heart. I laugh and the doorbell rings. I huff before putting my pizza down on the lid of the box and wipe my hands on my pyjamas and I run for the door.

My fabric shorts have been switched for grey sweatpants although I still insist on wearing the Minnie Mouse t-shirt and Gale's navy blue hoodie.

I answer the door to find Cato.

"What do you want?" I hiss

"To talk to you-"

"Well, I'm done talking," I stay going to close the door but he sticks his foot in the way before I can close it.

"Well, I'm not,"

"Katniss!" Prim shouts from the living room "Who is it?"

"Nobody important!" I shout back

"Please, can we just talk?"

"Ugh fine," I cave and Cato's face lights up, he walks towards the door but I push him backwards and step outside, closing the door behind me. I sit down on the porch and he follows suit.

"I was an idiot," he starts "I shouldn't have-"

"I don't want the details of your sex life, thank you very much,"

"God, you're so pure," he chuckles

"Are you here to apologise or are you here to take the piss?" I snap

"I'm not here to apologise," he says and I immediately stand up and turn to go back inside but he grabs my forearm "There's nothing to apologise for, I'm not ready for a relationship-" I cut him off

"Wow, you're such an ignorant pig, you thought, that I liked you?" I start laughing "Wow, you really do live up to player expectations, don't you Cato?"

"Katniss-"

"No, what happened the whole 'we need to do something about this, it's what I'm here for, I'm here for you Katniss' act, huh? Well guess what Mr Popular? I don't care what you have to say, so go run on back to Glimmer," and with that I shake him off my arm and slam the door behind me.

I rest my back on the door and slide downwards until I'm sat on the floor with my head in my hands.

I hear footsteps. They come closer and closer.

"Oh, Katniss," Prim says sitting down next to me and wrapping her hands around me "Don't cry," but I'm not crying, I'm just silent, there are no tears to cry

The roles have reversed now, I'm not the girl who held her little sister as she slept keeping the nightmares that she had dreamt of away, I'm the girl who's little sister had to hold her to keep the nightmare of her life from tearing her apart.

I'd never felt so alone.

* * *

**Follow me on TUMBLR at ****TheHungerGamesGirl****, secretivemuch is in the description, follow for covers of songs, confessions and general blogging. GET TO YOUR TUMBLR ACCOUNTS NOW! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

Hey guys! Thanks for all the reviews and everything! There's a little Peeta/Katniss action in here. Also I'm going through a couple chapters at a time and trying to edit them and get rid of the mistakes.

**#TeamCato or #TeamPeeta which will you decide?**

Let the games begin

- Court

* * *

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

* * *

I shuffle towards my bathroom unwillingly, well Prim lured me out of bed with pancakes that she says she won't make until I've showered and got dressed. Mom left to go back to work about an hour ago. I barely slept, Prim fell asleep in my beg trying to help me. Some big sister I am.

Somehow the bruised knuckles from punching Glimmer didn't make me feel any better, if anything it just made me more paranoid, especially after one text I got last night.

_9:46pm_  
_You will pay._

She didn't even sign it and the worst part was that she didn't have to.

At least it was Friday which meant that I had to weekend to recover from whatever Glimmer had been brewing for me. I step into the shower, the cold water zapping me awake. I felt terrible and no amount of pancakes would make that any better, I step out the shower after cleaning my hair and stand in front of the mirror, looking at the damage I had inflicted last night whilst Prim slept.

My arms were covered with scabbed over cuts, the soreness they endured lingered and that was the part that I probably liked the most. My legs were littered with lengthy cuts along my thighs and my feet held the rest. It hurt when I walked, the pain reminded me that nothing good came from befriending Cato, the best I could do was stay away, but then there was the English project... I would have to talk to Mrs Seeder about that.

I blow dried my hair before braiding it and getting dressing. I changed into the usual black skinny jeans and today I pulled on a big grey jump that hung off my right shoulder. I put on my cheap converse fakes and went downstairs to find Prim placing a plate of pancakes down, one for each of us.

We sat eating in silence until she spoke again.

"Whoever that was out there last night isn't worth your time," she says

"Thanks for trying to look after me, Prim," I say and her smile brightens, I help wash up the dishes until I hear Gale's horn outside and Prim says goodbye before grabbing her bag and setting off for her bus stop, she went to the other high school, for brainer kids, Prim always was smarter than me but she never liked to show it off.

I'm glad she never came to my school.

"Hey," Gale says as I get in his truck "Heard you had a late night visitor,"

"How'd you know?"

"Prim text Rory and Rory told me, I was worried about you but I thought you better sleep it off, especially after the day you had yesterday," he says "Oh and I forgot to say this yesterday, but nice right hook,"

"You taught me well," I say

"So, this late night visitor?"

"It was Cato," I admit "He thought that I liked him,"

"What is he crazy?" Gale asks sarcastically

"Ok smartass, his actual words were 'I'm not looking for a relationship right now,' it took all I had not to kick him in the balls,"

"So what happened?" he asks

"I called him an ignorant pig then slammed the door in his face," I say telling him a famous Everdeen half-truth, not that he'd notice.

"That's my girl," he chuckles as he turns into the parking lot, we get out the truck and make our way to our lockers separately.

"Finally," says Clove as I get to my locker, she's been waiting for me?

"What are you doing here?"

"It's school, I'm here to learn and socialise, anyways that's what they tell us," I shake my head laughing as I open my locker "I've been waiting for you to get here, I saw Glimmer in the bathroom and she's been trying to cover up that big-ass bruise you gave her on her cheek, it's the funniest thing," she laughs

"I gave her a bruise?" I ask guiltily

"Yeah, you punch her yesterday!"

"Uh, yeah," I say awkwardly rubbing the back of my neck

"Cato seems exceptionally pissed today," she states

"I hope it's nothing to do with me," I say "I have English with him second period,"

"What do you mean, you hope?" she asks, I explain to her what I said to Gale in the truck

"Then it's definitely you, but don't worry," she smiles "I've got your back."

* * *

Second period rolled around way too quickly and I took my seat at the back of the class, Cato was already there.

He made no attempt to say anything and I just sat staring at the clock, I didn't understand why the rest of the day went so quick, it was like the world slowed down, just for this lesson.

Ten minutes later Cato speaks up.

"I can't believe you're acting this way,"

"What way?" I ask turning to face him giving him my best 'be careful what you say' look

"All I did was hook up with Glimmer!"

"Did you just hear yourself? You hooked up with the girl that made my life a living hell for the past four years after saying that you're going to be there for me and help me,"

"What about you and Clove, huh? How comes she's your new BFF all of a sudden? What about Glimmer?"

"You know, I really thought that you'd be able to understand being judged, after all weren't you the school player? Why don't you ask Glimmer why she doesn't want to hang out with Clove anymore seeing as you two are totally adorable together," then I sit in silence for the rest of the lesson.

When the lesson ends I walk straight out of the room and charge towards the bathroom knowing that I need to cool off. I find Glimmer in the bathroom already, her and Delly both stop talking and turn to face me, you can see Glimmer's bruise easily and I'm overwhelmed with guilt again.

"Um, Glimmer, I'm sorry for punching you, I shouldn't have done it," I say honestly, her eyes soften for a moment before her lips purse

"Whatever, whore," she spits venomously before walking out the bathroom, Delly follows straight after sending me a glare, whatever apologetic look she gave me before, when she became Glimmer's new recruit is totally gone.

I huff in annoyance before dropping my bag on the ground and splashing my face with cold water. I sigh and stare into the mirror.

God, today was only gonna get worse.

I walk out the bathroom and make my way to the cafeteria and take my place with Gale, Peeta and Clove at our usual table.

"What took you so long?" asks Peeta "Your English classroom was empty when I walked past,"

"I apologised to Glimmer in the bathroom,"

"You did what?" asks Clove, shocked

"I apologised for punching Glimmer," I say as if I was talking to her like a five year old

"Why the hell would you do that?" she shouts

"Isn't it obvious?" I turn to see Cato and I visibly roll my eyes "She was feeling guilty, she let her emotions get the better of her, she did was everything wanted her to do and that wasn't what she wanted, she didn't want to be the bad guy, it put her on Glimmer's level,"

"Well, what did she say to that?" asks Gale "Do you have an answer for that?" he snaps

"Get mad at me all you want," Cato chides, I roll my eyes

"Glimmer said 'whatever, whore' then left the bathroom," I say to my table "You can go now,"

"Why would I do that?"

"Do you really want to ask that?" asks Gale standing up

"Sit down, Gale," I say "Cato, leave before this gets out of hand," and he does, it's the second thing I am truly thankful for him doing. You can decide on the first.

* * *

Peeta and I sit in art class together, anything he makes is a masterpiece, I was lucky if my stickmen looked like actual stick men.

Peeta laughs at my attempt to draw a tree.

"Go ahead, laugh all you want, at least I tried," I say dropping my pencil

"You give you too easy," he says and I look over at his beautifully drawn tree

"Easily said for you, you're good at art, better than good,"

"Are you flirting with me, Everdeen?" he jokes

"You wish, Mellark," I joke back laughing

"It's good to see you smile," he says "After the past couple especially," he tucks a piece of hair behind my ear, the last person to do that was Cato, the night he said he'd look after me "Do you wanna, I don't know, hang out sometime?"

"Like what?" I ask eyeing him with fake suspicion, he just laughs

"A date, do you wanna go on a date with me?"

"I don't know, Peeta," I say

"I was kinda hoping to talk to the soccer coach tonight,"

"Oh yeah?" he asks

"I was gonna give him an ultimatum, if I don't play in the next match I don't practice with the team at all, it just seems like a waste of time, you know?"

"Want me to give you a ride... to see the coach?"

"Really? You don't have to,"

"I want to, let me help you, Katniss,"

And we all know what happened to the last person who said that...

* * *

**Check out my TUMBLR at Confession of a Teen Freak, secretivemuch is in the description.**


	8. Chapter 8

Hey guys, thanks for all the reviews, I had trouble getting this chapter up because of some sort of error, but I finally got it up! Yay! It was supposed to go up yesterday but there was an error. In this chapter there are some Katniss/Peeta moments and some Cato/Katniss moments.

**#TeamCato or #TeamPeeta YOU DECIDE.**

Let the games begin

- Court

* * *

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

* * *

So Peeta and I went to go see my coach, or rather ex-coach, he said I had talent but I couldn't play on the boys team so he dropped. So Peeta and I went to Starbucks and sat drinking hot chocolate together.

"This week has been very stressful," he comments

"I know,"

"Cato was the one that said he wouldn't touch her with a ten foot barge pole," he says

"I know," I repeat not really into the conversation, it wasn't something I wanted to talk about "Would you hate me right now, if I said I want to stop talking about him?"

"Of course not," he smiles taking a drink of his hot chocolate "So what are you thinking of doing after senior year?" he asks "Plans for college... or..."

"I've put in a couple applications... well Prim made me,"

"So what are you looking for in a college program?"

"Oh, you know..."

We talked for a while, about how Peeta wanted to pursue his art but his mother wouldn't let him and how I had no idea where I was headed after high school.

"Hey there's a game tomorrow, you thinking of going?"

"Reliving my now faded dreams of becoming some sort of soccer royalty, I don't think so,"

"Oh, come on, Finnick's gonna be there, as well as Marvel, they're both playing," he tempts

"And you think those two idiots will tempt me?"

"They don't really have much appeal, do they?" he says and we both laugh

"Neither does Cato," I mumble but Peeta hears me

"We can ignore him, hope he get's subbed or something,"

"You're not a big soccer fan, are you?"

"Does this mean, you'll teach me?" I laugh at his attempts to take me to the game

"Fine, if it means you'll stop bugging me."

* * *

We sit on the bleachers at the soccer game, I'm wearing my dark green jumper and black jeans whilst Peeta wears black jeans, a white t-shirt and a blue hoodie.

"So explain to me, how you enjoy this so much?" asks Peeta as I watch Finnick do a throw in

"I don't like watching as much as I like playing, but it's like there's no bitching, no fighting, there's just you, a ball and some people you have to get on with for the good of the team," I say and Peeta nods before taking out his phone

"Can, I um, take a picture, of us?" he asks shyly as the half time whilst sounds

"Um, sure," I say as he puts his arm around me and takes a picture

"Ooh lovebirds!" I hear the shout of Finnick O'Dair, I blush and Peeta smiles awkwardly as Finnick manoeuvres his sweaty body over to us "Smile," he shouts taking Peeta's phone from his fingers and takes a picture of all three of us. He hands Peeta back his phone. "So coach said you quit the team,"

"I gave him the ultimatum, which didn't end so well for me,"

"I figured," he shrugs "Gonna miss our practices, Kit Kat," he pouts and I roll my eyes, then out of nowhere, he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder

"Ew! Finnick! You stink!" I shout as he runs down the bleaches with me over his shoulder, I see Peeta laugh as I'm carried away "Where are you taking me?"

"To Marvel!" he sings and I laugh, he takes me to the locker room and swings the door open yelling at the top of his lungs "I hope everyone's decent!" and then Finnick drops me so I'm sitting on a bench in the boy's locker room

"Hey Kat," a shirtless Marvel smiles, I smile back as he sprays on more deodorant and swigs from his water bottle, then sits next to me "How's life?" he asks cryptically

"What are you going on about?"

"I heard you punched that bitch Glimmer, good on ya," he smirks high fiving me

"Katniss," I look up to see the person I've been avoiding for the past couple days

"Cato,"

"Do I detect sexual tension?" coos Marvel and I slap him around the back of my head

"Can we talk?" asks Cato

"I'm here, with Peeta, he's probably wondering where I am," I say standing up but Cato rests his hand on my shoulder

"After the game, meet me at my truck, please, tell that you're gonna catch up with Finnick or something, please, I just really need to talk to you,"

"We'll see," I say continuing to walk out the locker room, I go back to the bleachers and sit back down next to Peeta

"What did Finnick want?"

"I don't even know," I admit "Marvel congratulated me for punching Glimmer so... yeah," Peeta laughs

"They're pretty crazy," he smirks then the players run out the locker room and take their places on the pitch, between the whistle and the end of the match Cato manages to catch my eyes at any chance he gets.

* * *

The final whistle blows and our team cheer.

"So you ready to go?" asks Peeta and for a second I debate going to see Cato

"I'm gonna catch a ride with Marvel, something about him wanting to show me this amazing new kit he's ordered online or something," I say lying through my teeth

"Ok, so I'll see you Monday?"

"Yep," I smile as we walk to the parking lot he smiles before giving me a hug and driving away.

I spot Cato's truck and I walk over to wait for him, I wait as everyone else leaves and the parking lot empties.

The parking lot looked how I felt... post apocalyptic.

Suddenly Cato left the building and turned to find me waiting at his truck.

"Took you long enough," I state, still pissed at the twenty minute wait I had to endure for this stupid conversation, I should have left but part of me made me stay, I wanted to hear what he had to say about the whole matter and I had brought it down to one thing and one thing only and that if he didn't apologise I would walk home and never talk to him as long as I could help it.

Which brought me straight back to the English project, he was the one that chose me! That had to say something! I was the one that reluctantly agreed to his straight forward ask, not that I had much choice.

"Ok, I'm gonna admit it, I was nervous,"

"What's there to be nervous about?"

"Can we get in the truck?" he asks, I huff before getting in the passenger seat, Cato gets into the driver's seat and his hands grip the steering wheel. "Do you want ice cream? I want ice cream, do you like ice cream? Cause I like ice cream, my favourite flavour-" I cut him off

"Don't you have some kind of celebratory party to get to?"

"Um, yeah, but I'm not going, I need to talk to you,"

"Then talk,"

"Do you want ice cream?"

"It's November, it's cold enough,"

"Right," he laughs nervously

"Cato," I say and he turns to look at me "Stop being nervous, it's just me, what do you want to talk about?"

"Can we go somewhere else?" I sigh at his request

"Fine."

* * *

We sit in the park on a bench, there's no one around. I want to know why Cato has taken me here, why he couldn't just say this in the car. I wait for him to speak but I can see him mentally debating with himself

"Can I see your arms?" he stammers out

"I thought you were going to talk not ask questions," I reach for the door but he locks it "I'm really not into kidnapping,"

"Katniss, I want to make sure that you're ok," I swallow whatever insecurities I have and I roll up my sleeves with my eyes closed, not wanting to see his reaction "Are there more?" I don't say anything, I don't move, I just open my eyes "Are there any more, Katniss?" he says now shouting, his hands grip my arms

"M-my f-feet, my th-thighs and my ribcage," I stammer out, he takes a breathe before calmly speaking again

"Did you do it because of me?" he asks even though I can see the pain beneath his words, I bite the inside of my cheek "Did you do it because of me?" he repeats, his hands clutching my arms, I don't say anything "Oh God," he chokes "I'm so sorry, Katniss, I'm so sorry," so I hold him as he breaks down.

* * *

**Follow me on TUMBLR at TheHungerGamesGirl, secretivemuch is in the description, I post covers and do general blogging, so follow me?**


	9. Chapter 9

Hey guys, so this is a short one but I've been looking at new music and I wanted to end this chapter the way it did. Take a look at The Futureheads and Stiff Dylans oh and The Vantage. Seriously, that is some good music. Thanks for all the reviews and that.

Let the games begin

- Court

* * *

**CHAPTER NINE**

* * *

Sunday. The everlasting peaceful day of the week, the day that you can just sit around doing nothing, that is until 10am and Gale wants to drag you and your sorry ass out your bed even though your five hours sleep was the longest you've had during the whole of high school.

"Why?" I moan "I don't wanna go to the park,"

"We're not going to the park,"

"Then where the hell are we going?"

"My mother and her boyfriend are having a housewarming party, so go put on a dress," he says trying to pull me from my bed

"I'm not wearing a dress!"

"A skirt then! Please tell me you own a skirt!"

"If I had one, I certainly wouldn't wear it,"

"Do you want me to call Clove?" he asks and I groan as he mentions her name, Clove would have a field day, all that crap she had to buy to be a part of Glimmer's entourage has been wasted unless Gale calls her

"Please don't," I whine

"Then put on a damn dress!"

"I don't own one!" then he lets go of my feet, making me fall to the floor, then he calls Clove "I hate you!" I shout after him and he walks out my room, on the phone to Clove.

* * *

Clove has dressed me up. Like seriously, I'm wearing a damn skirt. Specifically, it's a black skate skirt and a white t-shirt, yes, you guessed it, that t-shirt caused a lot of trouble, so eventually they told me I could wear my grey zip up hoodie if Clove could accessorize me, put make up on me and put my hair up in some way that wasn't a braid.

So I compromised.

I ended up have a plastic, metal coated sunflower necklace for my so called 'sunny' personality. I couldn't wear any of Clove's shoes seeing as we were two different sizes, her feet are really small, so they caved into letting me wear my converse, as long as I wore transparent tights inside of socks.

Then came the hair.

Oh the joys.

But much to my surprise Clove only combed it out and put it in a messy high ponytail before moving over to her make-up bag. I visibly tensed and let out a groan.

"Shut up, you got the hoodie didn't you," Clove says, she hasn't let Gale in here whilst she's doing it, he's sat outside my room, in his black trousers and light blue dress shirt throwing a bouncy ball up against the wall.

Clove uses all kinds of shit on my face, not that I know the names, using as little as she can apparently to 'conserve my natural beauty' or something.

Finally she finishes after coating my lips with some shiny stuff.

She holds out a mirror and I take a look at myself.

I don't look too bad.

The make-up isn't coated on like Glimmer's, actually the only thing you can actually tell I'm wearing is that shiny stuff on my lips. Lip gloss or something.

"Gale!" shouts Clove, I hear Gale groan as he stands up before the door opens

"Holy shit, you actually look like a girl!" he gasps, Clove slaps him up the back of his head "Ow!"

* * *

At Gale's house, the party is in full swing as we arrive and Gale tells me that'll he go find up a can of Coke or something.

"Um, hey Katniss," says Cato awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck

"Hey," I say with a small smile "Do you think I look alright? Gale set Clove on me and-" he cuts me off

"You look great all the time," he smiles

"Um, thanks," I say a little awkwardly as Gale comes back with two cans of Coke, he hands me one before opening his own.

"Do you want anything?" he asks or rather growls at Cato

"I'll go help your mom with the food," he says practically running away into the kitchen

"I would have thought that you would've kicked his ass by now," says Gale taking a gulp of his Coke

"It's a civilised party, isn't it," I state, actually lying through my teeth, I hadn't told anybody about yesterday at the park with Cato because of two reasons.

One being, that I lied to Peeta about what I was doing and two, I didn't know if I wanted to tell anybody.

"Ah! Gale!" says one of his relatives

"I better go," he says getting practically dragged off by one of his relatives

"I'll just be fine-" he was gone "Here,"

I casually sip my Coke even though the situation is turning awkward, seeing as I'm standing on my own like a loser.

My phone chimes.

_You think you're so great because you punched me, well newsflash honey! I have a lot more dirt on you than you have on me. Watch your back freak. - Glimmer_

I sigh before locking my phone and putting it in my pocket, I wasn't up the being threatened by bitcherino numero uno but I didn't have the choice and truth be told, I had no idea what she had on me... I wasn't even sure what I had against myself, most of my life has been dedicated to hiding from Glimmer and her cronies.

I take a slurp of my Coke.

Well this sucks.

The my phone chimes again but I'm surprised when I see a different sender.

_Hope your doing ok. Back at work tomorrow, don't forget. _  
_- Rex x_

I smile before putting it back in my pocket.

"Hey," I turn to see a tall, well built guy. "So, what are you Gale's sister?"

"No, I'm his best friend,"

"Well, I'm Matty,"

"Katniss," I reply

"What's a pretty girl like you doing here all alone?" he asks and I blush

"Gale was abducted by his relatives and Cato's in the kitchen helping Gale's mom with the food,"

"So, what, no boyfriend?" he asks and I laugh "I'm guessing that's a no,"

"Not many people like me,"

"That's such a lie,"

"Seriously, I get death threats,"

"Well, then they're idiots," he says and I blush "How about we ditch this shin dig and have some fun?"

And I could do nothing but agree.

* * *

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	10. Chapter 10

Hey guys, new update! I had no homework so this is probably about normal length-ish. Hope you like it. There's more from Matty in this! ;)

**#TeamCato or #TeamPeeta YOU DECIDE!**

Let the games begin!

- Court

* * *

**CHAPTER TEN**

* * *

Matty takes me to a skate park, very unoriginal but I wouldn't have thought of it. I watch a couple of teenagers on the ramps.

"The blonde one needs at add more air to his jump if he wants to finish a full rotation and the one in the purple hoodie needs to grab the end of his board not tap it," I say

"Quite the expert, are we?"

"If I wasn't wearing a skirt, I would give you a demo,"

"Go, just no flips," he smirks passing me his board, I smile before taking his board and climbing to the top of the ramp.

"Move over boys," I shout and the finish at the other end of the slope and wait at the top with smirks on their faces. I may be wearing a skirt but that doesn't mean I can't do this.

I push off and slide to the other end of the slop and do a nose grab in the air, come back around to the other side of the slope I go a 360 spin and when I come back around again I do a backflip fast enough so that my skirt doesn't flip over.

I hand Matty back his board.

"You're good," he smirks and the boys from the slope jump down, they fist bump with Matty. "These guys are Jake-" he says gesturing to the blonde "-and Leon," he says gesturing to the guy with the black hair in the purple hoodie

"Um, hi," I say awkward

"I thought you were at a party, man," says the one now known as Leon

"Yeah, I escaped with this little lady," he says nodding in my direction

"Do you have a name?" asks the other boy now known as Jake

"It's Katniss," I say with a small smile

"Anyways, I know you guys like Starbucks, do you want to go to Starbucks?" he asks me, I bite my lip before agreeing and he whisks me off to Starbucks with his friends.

I was a new found rebel, running away from a dear friend's party without so such of a 'see ya later' and I was hanging with skateboarders that liked me for my skills and not my reputation, because they didn't know I had one.

But later, I would have to suffer the consequences.

* * *

"Thank you for taking me somewhere fun," I smile bobbing up and down on the balls of my feet. Matty and I are standing on the sidewalk talking, he's dropping me off before heading to his little brother's basketball game and I'm going to deal with the zillions of texts from Gale.

I had turned my phone off to avoid them.

"Thank you for letting me kidnap you," he smirks "You know, even though I'm a college boy, Jake is actually still a senior and he doesn't have many friends..."

"Was this all just a ploy to get me to hang out with your friends?" I fake gasp and Matty laughs

"No, I actually do like you, a lot, you're pretty cool for a girl in a skirt,"

"Trust me, if I had it my way I would be wearing sweatpants by now," I admit and he laughs

"That's cute," he says tucking a loose piece of my hair behind my ear "So how about, I meet you and Jake at your school gate tomorrow for lunch, that way you aren't leaving school and I'm not trespassing,"

"That might be nice," I smirk but then I bite my lip

"What's wrong?"

"My friends... today I've kinda ditched two of them and I kinda feel like I'm letting them down, how about Tuesday?"

"Sure, whatever, see you whenever," he says going back to his car, I try calling his name but he drives off, I huff before turning my phone back on waiting for the burst of texts. I enter the house and run upstairs to my room.

My phone doesn't chime or vibrate or do anything.

That's when I realise... they didn't miss me at all.

* * *

Monday morning came quicker than expected and unwillingly I pulled myself from the covers much to Prim's delight.

I dress in the usual black jeans and oversized jumper, today's was mustard and I had to wear a white tank top underneath due to the fact that it was knitwear.

I tie my converse fakes and head downstairs, my phone dings, thinking that it was one of my friends apologising for forgetting about me I read the texts.

Look out, slut, I'm watching you. - Glimmer

Big mistake. I sigh and lock my phone and as I get to the kitchen table I receive another text this time from Rex reminding me that I was working tonight.

I lock my phone once again and grab myself a piece of toast as I receive a text from Gale.

Truck won't start. Can't pick you up. Sorry.

I sigh.

Were my friends ditching me?

"What's with all the sighs?" asks Prim munching happily on her toast

"Oh, um, nothing," I reply before wanting to bang my head against a wall "School work, that's all," I lie

"Tell me about it, there's so much work," she complains

"That's because you go to smarty pants school," I laugh tugging her two braids she giggles lightly before finishing off the rest of her toast "I better go, Gale's truck broke down and I have to skate to school,"

"Bad luck," says Prim sympathetically

"It's fine, a little exercise won't hurt," I smile grabbing my skateboard and kissing her on the side of the forehead before exiting the house with my backpack in tow.

I skate down the road with my headphones in, blasting out The Futureheads' song Walking Backwards followed by Ever Fallen In Love by Stiff Dylans.

By the time I get to school, I've shuffled through five different songs. I finally reach my locker and I shove my skateboard in with some difficulty.

"Here," says someone turning my skateboard so that it slots into my locker, it's Gale

"How did you get here so fast?" I ask "I thought your truck broke down?"

"Cato gave me a ride, I know I wasn't happy about it, I thought that you wouldn't want to be in a car with that, didn't think you'd like it," he says and I slam my locker shut.

What was it with people and thinking that they knew what was right for me?

"Where are you going?" Gale calls after me but I don't say anything, I just walk into homeroom with my music in my ears. I was going to keep an eye out for Jake.

Matty and his friends didn't define me as one thing and they certainly didn't tell me what do to, so why should I put up with all Gale's crap?

Screw that!

Why should I put up with anybody's crap?

* * *

Finally, it was lunch time and I was going to head out to the gate to find Matty, Leon and Jake, but Gale stood in my way.

"What?" I growl, a little insensitively

"Why are you ignoring us?"

"The same reason why you didn't notice I left the party," I say turning to go but Gale grabs my shoulder

"You left the party?"

"Goodbye Gale," I say stalking away to the front gate

I find Matty sat down on the grass with Leon and Jake.

"So she showed up," he laughs as I sit down opposite him "What's with the scowl?"

"Gale's pissing me off," I huff taking out my lunch "Everybody's pissing me off,"

"Am I pissing you off?" he asks with a pout

"No..."

"Then not everybody is," he smirks "So what's everyone doing to piss you off?" he asks looking concerned... something I haven't seen in a while.

"I don't want to talk about," I say

"Why didn't you text me, so that I knew you'd be joining us?"

"Because I don't have your number, duh, why do you ask?"

"Because he'd try to tart himself up for you," says Leon and I laugh before Matty pushes him sideways jokingly

"Ok," laughs Jake "I think it's the time of the month, again!" and that's when Matty slaps him upside the back of the head and visibly reddens out of embarrassment.

How was it that these three guys had made my crap-tastic day a lot... sunnier?

Everything with Matty just seemed to be so easy and relaxed... I needed to relax for a while, that was for sure.

"So Katniss," says Leon speaking up "We're going to see that action film, The Avengers tonight, you in?"

"I'm in, but I'm working tonight,"

"Ooh!" squeals Leon and I laugh "Where do you work?"

"Rex's Records, it's actually just down the road from here,"

"How about I pick you up?" asks Matty with a flirtatious smile

"My shift finishes at seven."

And I had managed to slot right into their daily life just like that.

* * *

**check me out on TUMBLR at TheHungerGamesGirl, secretivemuch is in the description!**


	11. Chapter 11

Hey guys, sorry I couldn't update sooner but I've been busy. But here it is. P.S guest reviewer **Holly **get yourself an account and PM me!

**#TEAMPEETA or #TEAMCATO**

Let the games begin

- Court

* * *

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

* * *

"So," says Rex as we finish off our fries, the store is empty, as expected at ten minutes before closing time. "How's things?"

"Well, everything's good really," I say "Actually, after work I'm heading to the cinema to watch a movie with some friends,"

"So how are, your friends, Gale and-" I cut Rex off

"Actually, I'm hanging out with some people you haven't met before, Matty, Jake and Leon,"

"Did Gale do something? I swear to God I'll-" I cut Rex off again

"Gale did not do anything like that, I swear," I laugh "I'm just... looking at all my options," Rex just laughs

"I'm glad you're making friends, people are starting to see the real you,"

"And that is?"

"A happy, smart, funny girl that will just-"

"Ok, calm down sunshine," I joke eating the last of my fries and dusting myself down

"So these _friends_, are any of them... cute?"

"_Cute?"_ I repeat

"God that sounds weird, what I meant to say was do you _like_ any of them?"

"Well, they're all nice and everything... I don't know, like I said I'm just exploring my options,"

"Do you know how whore-y that makes you sound," we both laugh and the bell on the door chimes gleefully letting us know that a customer has entered the store

"Hey Katniss," it's not a customer, it's Matty

"Hey," I smirk "Rex, this is Matty,"

"Hi," Rex says shaking Matty's hand "You head on out, I'll close up," he smiles

"See you tomorrow," I smile grabbing my bag off my peg and following Matty out the door

"So Rex..." says Matty as we get into his truck "Are you two, like, going out?"

"No, he's my boss and my friend and that would be weird,"

"Good," he smiles and I pull a questioning face as he starts the truck, the conversation fades and soon we pull up outside the cinema and exit the truck.

We meet Jake and Leon in the lobby with two other girls. I'm quickly introduced to the two other girls, the skinny blonde could be Glimmer's sister and she's called Di, short for something unmentioned which I don't push for. Whilst the brunette clinging to Leon is named Katie.

I smile and notice that both Jake and Leon have brought dates... did Matty choose to take me instead of a girl?

We get some popcorn and head into the screen room before settling into our seats.

We sit at the back of the screening room on the sofas.

"Why didn't you invite a date?" I whisper to Matty as the trailers play

"I did, didn't I?" he smiles, if it wasn't so dark I would be pretty sure that he could see me blush bright red like a stupid tomato but I was currently safe "Truth is," he whispers, his breathe tickling my neck "I like you and I know it's only been two days, so I'm willing to go really, really slowly,"

"Define liking me," and in reply he presses his lips to mine.

* * *

With my new found relationship and new found friends I walk into school feeling quite... optimistic. Listening to The Rakes and The Strokes must have really put me in the mood for school, either that or that kiss did more than I'll admit to...

The parts of the movie I did see were pretty good, but next time I think I need to watch it from the start...

My phone chimes and I take a look at my newly received text message.

**_C ya at lunchtime, beautiful.  
-Matty_**

I smile before putting my phone back into my pocket.

"So are you going to tell us why you were missing at lunchtime?" asks Peeta walking up next to me

"I was eating with some other people,"

"Some other people? Katniss! We're your only friends!" that stung.

"Some friends," I say turning away and walking towards my locker where Jake stands with a smirk on his face "What's got you happy?"

"Just seeing some of your sass in action," he jokes, I send him a look "But seriously, what is with you and Mellark, Matty won't like that,"

"You know about me and Matty?"

"He won't stop talking about you," he says even though something in his voice, seems a little... off

"Ok, but there's nothing going on with Mellark, we were friends, that's all, nothing more, he was just nice to me when everybody else wasn't,"

"Just don't tell Matty that," he smiles "Leon!" he calls down the hall "I'll catch ya later," he smiles before running after Leon," I open my locker and take out the books I need before walking straight into Cato.

"Jesus, I've been looking for you everywhere!" I say going to hug me but I take a step back "Where were you at the party, you just disappeared, I was worried! I tried talking to Gale but he wouldn't even listen to a single word I had to say,"

"You knew I was missing?"

"Yeah, I went out looking for you, where did you even go?"

_Cato went looking for me?_

"Why didn't you just text me?"

"My phone broke," he says wiggling the cheap replacement at me "So, is it going to remain a mystery where you were yesterday and Sunday or...?"

"I met some people and I started hanging out with them,"

"That's great," he smiles "I'm glad people are starting to see the real you,"

"Thanks, Peeta on the other hand... wasn't too happy,"

"He'll get over it," he says "So are you joining us for lunch today?"

"Actually, I'm-"

"Katniss!" I turn to see Katie

"Hey Katie," I smile

"You have to come with me like right now," she says grabbing my arm and trying to pull me away, I send Cato an apologetic look and he smiles before walking off.

* * *

It turns out that Katie wanted to take me to Di, so that we could talk about my status with Matty, even though I wasn't too sure of that myself, they explained that they would be joining us for lunch at the gate and wanted to get to know me better so they pretty much forced me to have them over for a 'girlie' night in, which I wasn't too excited about.

At lunch I sat with Matty and he pulled me onto his lap, Di sent me a smirk before continuing to complain about her biology teacher and an experiment that she had to do.

After everyone else had gone to their lockers, Matty pulled me behind to talk to him.

"So, what's with you and Mellark?"

"Friends, nothing more,"

"Good," he smiles "Because he's bad news,"

"Peeta's a nice guy, he's not-" Matty cuts me off

"He's bad news," he repeats "He went out with Di and broke her heart, she was a mess for weeks,"

"N-no one told me,"

"It's not something she likes to talk about, _at all_," he says entwining his hand with mine "Stay away from that Mellark kid," I nod in reply knowing that going against what he says would be the wrong thing to do

"I better go, I've got math and my teacher doesn't like it when I'm late,"

"I'll see you tomorrow, then?"

"Yeah, sure."

* * *

"So you and Matty," smirks Di, wiggling her eyebrows as we sit in my room with a big bowl of popcorn and chocolate, I roll my eyes with a smile, my phone rings and I take it out my pocket, I look at the caller ID.

It's Gale.

"Don't answer it," says Katie

"Don't," repeats Di "He obviously doesn't want you any other time, that's why he didn't call you after that party right?" she says it meaning it to be a question but it doesn't feel like one.

"I haven't talked to him in two days-"

"It's taken him two days to call?" says Katie

"No, no, no!" she tuts "This cannot do," she says swiping the phone from my fingertips "Not worth it," she says pressing the ignore button

"It's a god job you have us," smiles Katie

"Yeah..."

_Why did I get the feeling that I was being made to choose between my old friends and my new ones?_

_That's because I was._

* * *

**Head to my TUMBLR at TheHungerGamesGirl, secretivemuch is in the description!**


	12. Chapter 12

Hey guys, I thought I should clear things us, some people think I'm already team cato, but I'm not, they say that Peeta should've seen that she was missing at the party, but Peeta wasn't at the party to know that. Hope that cleared stuff up. Sorry for not updating sooner...

**#TEAMCATO or #TEAMPEETA?**

Let the games begin!

- Court

* * *

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

* * *

The next morning was Tuesday and I was surprised to find that Gale was sat at the kitchen table with Prim, let's just say that he wasn't looking too happy...

"Good morning," Prim smiles lifting a spoon of cereal to her lips

"Good morning," I reply still eyeing Gale

"You ready?" asks Gale monotone

"Isn't it a little early?" he doesn't reply "Are you at least gonna let me have breakfast?" I ask in reply he throws an apple at me and I catch it. I huff before kissing Prim on the side of the forehead and picking my backpack off the floor in the hallway where I dumped it last night.

I follow Gale out to his truck, just to prove how annoyed I am I slam the door as I get in. Gale doesn't say anything, he just gets in and we belt up before he starts the engine and starts driving.

He pulls over near the forest and I eye the tall dark haired boy that I considered my best friend.

"I thought you were taking me to school," I state

"We're skipping school," he states getting out the truck

"Great," I mutter getting out and slamming the door, I follow Gale into the woods, he doesn't stop walking he just continues, I follow him and we trudge deeper into the woods. No words are passed between the two of us and the atmosphere feels tense. I've never felt this tense with Gale.

We come to a clearing and Gale stops, I nearly walk straight into him. I take a step back.

"We need to talk," he states

"And you brought me all the way here to speak to me when you could've done that at school?"

"I just wanted to take you some place where no one can interrupt us, where you can't run away,"

"Thanks for the voice of confidence, Gale," I deadpan

"I'm worried about you, Catnip," he sighs using my nickname as some sort of endearment

"Why are you worried about me? I made friends and I'm in some sort of relationship! You should be happy for me!"

"First, woah! And second, I didn't know anything about this!" he shoots right back "Katniss..."

"Don't," I throw back like a kick in the gut "No drama, just no drama, not today,"

"Then don't make it one!" he shouts back "First you ditch your friends and now you're ditching you're best friend for some guy that you only met a couple days ago!"

"Just take me back to school,"

"I bet you're just his whore," Gale's eyes widen after realising what he just said. It stung, I may have only met Matty at the weekend, but during the past four days he had been a much better friend than Gale is, or rather was, yes, was seems more appropriate now.

"Take me to school,"

"We're going to talk," he states looking somewhat apologetic. I stare him down but he doesn't budge, so I just walk back to the truck and grab my backpack before walking the long walk to school.

I start walking and pull my phone out my pocket to call someone, but who would I call? I don't have Jake, or Leon's mobile numbers and I can't text Peeta or Clove or Cato. They probably hate me to.

I put my phone back into my pocket and sigh.

I continue walking.

The sky's grey and the heavens open.

So I walk to school completely wet to the bone.

* * *

"Jesus, what happened to you?" I turn to see Peeta Mellark. I wasn't in the mood for all this

"It was raining," I reply monotone before walking to my locker with haste, leaving Peeta behind me, my shoes squelch every step of the way, I sneeze a couple times before I reach my locker, I've gotten sick and I can feel it.

I open my locker just as Glimmer walks down the hall in her high heels.

"Look what the tide washed in, we should tie rocks to its ankles and hope it drowns," she cackles, I can feel anger surging through me and I grip my locker door to stop myself from punching Glimmer... again. After all I would regret it.

_Or would you?_

Shut up! Of course you would!

_Fine, fine, no need to bitch._

"What? Cat got your tongue?" she continues cackling and my nose chooses this moment to sneeze, Glimmer smirks and turns to Delly before loudly announcing "I told you it was diseased, better call the vets to put it down. You know _Katniss,"_ she says hissing my name "It would be a whole lot better if you died," she cackles loudly, I slam my locker shut, the whole school seems to be waiting for me to throw a punch and start a fight.

I shove my way past Glimmer, she grabs my arm and I know why. The final blow.

She doesn't react quick enough.

"Thank you," I say a millisecond later she replies

"You're welcome," but the air catches in her throat as she finally realises that I'm done with her bullshit, even though she isn't done messing with me. I force my arm from her grip and trudge, with my squelchy shoes, out the front door and out the gate.

It must be lunch because Matty and his friends at sat at the gate. When he sees me, he stands up.

"Where have you been?" he chuckles

"Swimming by the looks of things," jokes Leon

"Where are you going?" Matty calls after me

"Home, fuck everyone, fuck this whole school, fuck life," and with that I storm away

"Katniss!" Matty shouts after me

"Just leave me alone!" I shout back, picking up my pace. I hear someone running to catch up with me. I steal a glance and see Matty, he doesn't say anything he just walks alongside me as I walk home, with my squelchy shoes.

* * *

I open the front door and Matty enters after me, I sneeze again. I dumb my wet back in the hallway and kick off my shoes sending them flying to god knows where, and that was a place that I didn't care.

I walk up the stairs, Matty still following and lock myself in the bathroom.

"So," Matty says from the other side of the door, I stand by the sink with my blade, I stare at the small blade that once was part of a razor, I watch the way that my hands clutch it as if it was something that chose the difference between life and death, even though in the eyes of most it didn't. I'm pulled out of my very sinister thoughts by Matty "What happened?" I remain silent "Gale was missing this morning, was it to do with him," nothing "I told you, they're no good for you, I hate to say I told you so,"

"Just what I need, someone to say 'I told you so'." I mutter, he doesn't hear me

"You know, it's been a crazy couple days," he says through the door

"Tell me about it," I mutter, I hear a slight chuckle from the other side of the door

"Ok," he says taking my sarcastic comment literally "Sunday, I met this girl at a party, family reunion thing, not that interest, she was all dressed up, so there's me thinking 'this girl's hot and I'm going to go talk to her' so I did and I was met by the biggest attitude there is. It was quite funny really," I sneeze and he chuckles to himself "I kidnapped her from the party and took her to the skate park where she met my friends and she proved that she was totally badass," he chuckles again "Katniss... what happened?"

I sigh before unlocking the bathroom door hesitantly.

"Am I really just your whore?" I ask

"Oh Katniss," he says wrapping his strong arms around my somewhat smaller body "You're not a whore, and you're definitely not my whore, but I'd be very lucky," he whispers into my neck

"Matty?"

"Hm?" he asks pulling back and looking me straight in the eye

"I don't like the rain."

* * *

**My blog on TUMBLR- Confessions of a Teen Freak (secretivemuch is in the description so check it out!) **


	13. Chapter 13

Ok so sorry I didn't update on tuesday, i was at a soccer match, yes on a school night, yes i didn't get home till eleven, yes i feel like a zombie, and yes we lost 3-2 but I GOT TICKETS TO SUMMER IN THE CITY! (for those who don't know, it's this kinda, convention with youtubers) so I'm freakin' estatic, even though there's still 29weeks and 3days to go but still! So tell me if any of you guys are going, maybe we could meet and hang out?

PM me.

Meanwhile.

**#TEAMCATO or #TEAMPEETA?**

Let the games begin.

- Court

P.S I would love it if you read the AN!

* * *

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

* * *

"Morning," Jake smirks as I get into his truck, another day of school looming upon us rather quickly, I had ignored Gale. Completely and utterly. But that also meant that to avoid questions I had to avoid Clove, Peeta and Cato, which was a lot harder than it sounds considering they kept texting me and coming up to me in the halls

The drive to school to shorter than expected and definitely shorter than I wanted. I sigh.

"You'll be fine," Jake says slinging his arm around my shoulders as we walk into school, I see as Gale eyes me from his locker where he stands talking to Clove.

I would say that I was ok now, hanging out with people that accepted me but the truth was that I had alienated my friends and now I was stuck with the likes of Jake, Leon and Matty, even if I didn't want to be.

"Katniss!" squeals Di running up to me and enveloping me in a bone crushing hug, I wasn't a hugger and Di was... I was still yet to learn her full name... Di had been clinging to me every second she had, it was like she was trying to keep me away from the outside world and keep me in our small group of friends.

"Hey Di," I say sending her a fake smile, I head to my locker, Di following me with every step... I'm starting to feel a little... suffocated... I really need to get out more.

I head to first period and waste the day away, zoning out during Di's endless conversations about clothes and make-up and boys... I wasn't interested.

By the end of the day I was drained of social interaction.

"Come on, Everdeen," says Jake steering me towards his truck but I manage to find my way out of them

"I think I'm gonna walk," I state

"Matty doesn't want you to walk,"

"Matty can say what he wants, I'm walking," I huff turning to walk about, I just need to think in my own space, on my own, even if it was just for a little while, Jake grabs my wrist and pulls me back around

"It's not like that," he says "He just doesn't want you getting hurt,"

"I can look after myself," after that I stalk away from Jake and his stupid truck that seemed more like a prison, the school that held the devil incarnate, aka Glimmer, and the four significant others that probably hated me now too.

I was stuck in a place where I didn't want to be. A place where I had alienated my friends to a point where they gave up on me altogether and a place where being happy wasn't an option any more. I was stuck in a continuous flow that somehow didn't involve Glimmer. She has popped into thin air and I was still waiting for the other shoe to drop, for my world, or rather what was left of it, to come crashing down and for whatever friends I did have to abandon me.

Leaving me.

Once again.

Alone.

* * *

Kicking a stone up the path, I sigh, I took the long way home, somehow I just wanted to avoid everything that could take me back to my blade because I was sure that once I was home, the only thing I think I could was pull the blade to my skin and slice.

And slice.

And slice.

And slice.

But it would never be enough because nothing could fill this empty void I had.

And I would continue to slice until there was nothing left.

Basically, I felt like shit.

Suddenly, a soccer ball lands at my feet.

I stare at it, completely bemused as if it was some alien life force.

"Hey Brainless! Are you gonna give us the ball?" my head snaps around and I see a group of girls one with wide set brown eyes and spiky brown hair. The girls surrounding the loud mouthed girl are different in many different ways. One is small and sly looking, almost like a fox, with wild red hair and a familiar girl with brown hair and green eyes. Wait. Is that? Annie?

I kick the ball back to the girls and run over.

"Katniss?" Annie asks hugging me, I take a moment and enjoy the simple contact between myself and my friend "Guys, this is Katniss, Katniss is this Finch, we call her foxy and-"

"I'm Johanna Mason," she says purses her lips and tossing the ball between her hands "Nice shot, good accuracy, nice pass, not too shabby,"

"Sorry about Jo-" Finch is cut off by Johanna

"No need to apologise," states Johanna

"So, how's Gale?" asks Annie

"Who's Gale?" asks Johanna

"Nosy," Finch says jabbing her in the elbows

"Haven't really talked to him in a while..." I admit awkwardly rubbing the back of my neck

"How about we all talk over pizza, I'm hungry," says Johanna, starting to walk away, Annie grabs my hand and pulls me along with them to the pizza parlour.

* * *

"Dude," Johanna says stopping in mid-slurp of her cola "You can't ditch your friends like that,"

"I know, I was, still am, an idiot, I guess I'll just stick it out, I mean, there's not much of senior year left,"

"You've got eight months yet," states Finch as if she's repeating it from somewhere

"And as for Glimmer, she's never stopped has she?" says Annie and I shake my head

"They'll forgive you," states Finch "But this Matty character, or just him and his friends in general, seem a little fishy to me,"

"You're not the only one," says Annie

"I'm sat in a fish factory," says Johanna and we give her odd looks "Wrong phrase?" she asks me and I nod "I think you should hang out with us after school, Brainless," says Johanna

"Really?" I ask surprised

"Yeah, I mean, once you get over the fact that you're a complete friend-ditcher, you're not that bad, with your tacky romance drama and the whole defender of your old and new friends act, which isn't even an act, which makes it more unbearable, feel free to take this personally,"she laughs "You're a tough nut,"

"Thanks," I say unsure whether to be complimented or insulted

"Savour it," says Finch "She won't be saying that again."

* * *

When I finally get home, I find hear Prim talking to someone in the living room, I kick off my shoes drop my bag by the door.

"I'm home," I shout stretching as I walk into the living room, I stop in my tracks. Cato is sat in my living room talking to my little sister. "Um, hi,"

"Can we go to your room?" asks Cato standing from the sofa where he sat with Prim

"Sure," I say, Prim sends me a wary smile before returning to her TV show, I lead Cato upstairs to my room.

He shuts the door behind him and we sit on my bed next to each other.

"So..." he starts but the rest of his sentence doesn't seem to string itself together

"So..." I repeat

"Can we cut the crap?" he blurts unapologetically "What is it with you at the moment?"

"There's not much going on actually," I say simply, swinging my legs, I wasn't comfortable talking to Cato right now, it was as if all that Di, Matty and his friends were saying had been drilled into my head.

_You don't want to hang out with them, losers, you have us now._

_Desperate idiots._

_You've got us now._

_You don't need them, not that they care._

_You're better off with us._

"I've just been hanging out with new people and then Gale in the woods and-" he cuts me off

"Is that all you're gonna say?" he asks obviously annoyed, I raise at eyebrow "Goodbye, Katniss," he says walking straight out my room, I hear the front door open and close after him.

And there was me thinking that I wouldn't ever feel alone with Cato.

Within the space of a couple minutes, he'd made me feel like a mouse, like I didn't matter. I go into my bathroom.

I turn on the tap and hold the blade to my skin.

I thought Cato would be there for me, that's what he said anyway.

I was wrong.

So, so wrong.

And the now pink tinged water proved it.

* * *

**TUMBLR at TheHungerGamesGirl, secretivemuch is in the description, keep an eye out.**


	14. Chapter 14

Hey guys, sorry for not updating Thursday, I've been so tired... Anyways here's the next chapter, and I've been having idea for my next story which I'm very excited about so this one might be coming to a close soon! Sorry for the short chapter but I wanted to end it the way it did, it's kinda a powerful chapter. Beware.

**#TEAMCATO or #TEAMPEETA?**

Let the games begin.

- Court

* * *

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

* * *

I return to school the next day feeling really low, the only hope I have now of some kind of happiness is with Matty and his friends, maybe I just need a little bit of Di's happiness injected into me this morning, or maybe I really am feeling like that it would be better off if the world didn't have me.

But suicidal thoughts amount to nothing.

I finally get to my locker and take out the books I need for the next couple lessons with a sigh, I close my locker and turn to see Cato's eyes on mine, my grey eyes catch his and we begin some kind of staring contest.

"Katniss," squeals Di, pulling me out my daze, she hugs me and I give her a gentle squeeze back "How was your night?"

"It was ok," I say thinking of annoyingly honest Johanna, sly but smart Foxface and dear Annie, I decide not to mention them "I stayed at home and watched some TV," I lie

"Ooh!" she squeals locking her arm around mine "You have math with me, let's go!" and that's how the day went, but I couldn't help but think that there was something just a little... off about Di...

* * *

It was lunch and I walk into the cafeteria, I had forgotten my lunch and I was going to buy a sandwich or something before heading out to see Matty, somewhere between all the controversy with Gale and the others he had been something of a rock.

And I was grateful.

"Look it's still alive, unfortunately," I turn to see Glimmer, either side of her is Delly and, wait, Di? "Oh Katniss," she says stepping closer to me with a smirk on her face "You didn't actually think that Matty likes you, did you?"

"What are you talking about?" I ask

"Oh, maybe _my sister, Diamond, _should explain,"

How could I have been such an idiot, 'Di' was Diamond, Glimmer's sister!

"You see Katniss," says Diamond walking towards me and circling like a predator would her prey "It was all a trick, Matty never liked you, ha, what a freak! No one likes you! Not even your old friends like you any more and it's because they've seen the real you, the whore that will ditch her friends for a guy she just met,"

"Skank," Delly laughs

"That's not true, you're lying," I stammer out

"Why don't we call Matty?" smiles Glimmer taking out her phone and dialling his number putting him on speaker, even to let the whole cafeteria hear

"Hello?" says Matty answering the phone

"Hey babe," Glimmer smiles "Be a dear talk to Katniss for a second, for some reason she thinks that you actually like her! What a joke right?"

"So the whore actually believed it?" he laughs "Wow, I never though that any one could be so stupid, you must have been right Glim, definitely inbred, I mean who would actually care about _it,"_ that was it

"So I'll see you later at my place?" she coos smirking as she watches my expression

"Yeah, my place, after you finish school." and with that she hangs up and her smiles widens seeing my expression.

I felt sick, stupid and broken.

Completely broken.

There was nothing left to feel anyone.

No one left to turn to.

All I could do was run.

I burst out the cafeteria the sound of students laughing filling the halls.

Everyone knew about it.

Now I'm just the whore they wanted me to be.

I run faster.

I don't stop.

I run out the front doors.

Down the street.

Turn left.

Keep running.

Faster.

Faster!

I get to my house and I shake as I try and fit my keys in the door.

No one's home.

When I finally get the door unlocked, I don't even bothering closing it properly, it will all be over soon.

I race to my bathroom and my fingers fumble for my blade or just generally anything sharp.

I stand in front of the mirror whilst holding the blade to my wrist.

I stare at my reflection.

I look just as useless and stupid as everyone says.

_What's the point even being here?_

_No one wants me._

_Everything's all my fault._

_My friends hate me._

_My mother hates me, that's why she's out the house so much._

_The guy I though liked me, hates me._

_It was all a lie._

_Everything was just a lie._

_I was such an idiot._

_Glimmer was right._

_I'm a whore._

_An idiot._

_I must be inbred because I'm so retarded._

_I'm weak._

_Diseased._

_Useless._

But I'm still clever enough to end it all so that everyone else will be better off.

I take one last look at myself.

"It was all a lie, just like my life, just a lie," and with that I press the edge of the blade against my wrist.

I hear the front door swing open, the door hitting the wall.

I panic. My heart beats erratically in my chest.

My head spins with panic and all I hear is the beating of my heart against my ribcage.

I go to slice the skin deeper, to hit the vein, to end it all and let whatever happens happen, but a hand grips the wrist of the hand holding the blade.

"Don't you dare," Cato says trying to be firm but his voice wavers "Don't you dare do it," and then he holds me in his arms as I totally break down.

* * *

A good half an hour later we're sunk to leaning against the wall on the bathroom floor. I lift my head up from Cato's chest.

"Not to sound totally ungrateful but why do you even care? Yesterday, you were angry with me and-" he cuts me off

"I should've told you before," he says looking at the floor "Two years ago, my older brother Kurt committed suicide, he was gay and he was bullied because of who he was, it was his senior year and he was the nicest person ever, he was my favourite person to be with and he didn't even know it, his note was just so simple, he wrote two but the one he gave to me was so different compared to our parents,"

I stay silent taking in what Cato's saying. His eyes don't meet mine, they're just glued to the floor.

"It said 'to the best little brother in the whole world, don't be afraid to do something that everyone will hate you for because they don't matter, they're the minority and if you ever meet someone that thinks that everyone hates them, save them because sometimes people need a little saving before it gets too late, love you forever, even though I'll never admit it, Kurt,' I can't lose someone else, Katniss, and I definitely can't lose you,"

I can't find anything to say so I just rest my head against his shoulder and whisper to him just loud enough for him to hear.

"Thank you for saving me."

* * *

**Anyone going to Summer in the City 2014 msg me!**

**Tumblr blog- TheHungerGamesGirl secretivemuch is in the description**

**Facebook- Courtney Gostic**

**Until next time...**


	15. Chapter 15

Hey guys, thanks for all the reviews, the end is near, exactly how near I am not sure but keep an eye out for the next chapter. Sorry for the short chapter but i wanted to leave it with that message at the end. Enjoy.

**#TEAMCATO or #TEAMPEETA**

Let the games begin!

- Court

* * *

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

* * *

"Katniss Everdeen, please come to my office," I'm pulled out of my daze in my math class where Diamond and Glimmer have been giving me the evil eye for the past twenty minutes by the principal speaking over the PA system.

Some of the class turn to look at me and the whispers start. I sigh and collect my things together before making my way to the principal's office. I knock twice before entering.

"Ah Miss Everdeen," Principal Paylor says "Take a seat," she says beckoning towards the chair, I notice Cato, Peeta and Gale sat in their own chairs on either side of the room.

"What's going on?" I ask eyeing the boys that sit on the other side of the room

"It has come to my attention that something has been going on," says Principal Paylor "Your friends have told me everything Miss Everdeen, I simply want you here for the facts,"

"My friends?"

"We just wanted to help you, Catnip," Gale says sincerely

"So you told them then?" I ask angrily, my question directed at Cato

"They had a right to know," he replies cooly

"Right to know, my ass,"

"Miss Everdeen!" Paylor snaps, I gulp and shut my eyes to try and stop myself from punching people "Miss Everdeen, please may I see your phone?" I don't move "That wasn't a question, Miss Everdeen,"

I don't move.

"God's sake," says Cato reaching into my bag and unlocking my phone and handing it to Principal Paylor. She puts on her reading glasses and scrolls through the messages, the room is silent.

Somewhere along the way my eyes find Peeta's, he looked a little dishevelled, unhappy yet worried.

"Thank you," says Principal Paylor putting my phone face down on her desk, she doesn't hand it back to me "I will have to keep it for the time being so that the appropriate actions can take their course, I suggest you all head back to class, except you Katniss, I want to talk to you,"

One by one they all leave, their heads down. Gale's hand lands on my arm.

"I'm sorry for calling you a whore," he says quietly "I- I'm just sorry," and with that he exits

"Katniss..." Principal Paylor starts "Why didn't you come to me sooner?"

"You fight your own battles and I'll fight mine," I reply cooly

"This is not a battle, these girls are not letting you fight back, I shall hold a meeting with the board of directors as soon as possible and discuss this, this is not something I can just look over,"

"I know," I say quietly

"Head back to your class, this will be all sorted out, I give you my word," and with that I slip out of the office.

Outside the office I find Peeta leaning against the wall in the hallway.

"Katniss," he calls

"Peeta," I reply

"I'm sorry that had to happen, I'm sure you just wanted to keep a low pro after yesterday, I tried to tell Cato but he wouldn't listen and-"

"He did the right thing," I say "I never thought I would admit that but he did the right thing,"

"Katniss," he says touching my arm "I'm here for you, you know,"

"I know," I state "I better get to class,"

"Um, yeah," he says awkwardly removing his hand from my arm "See you later?"

"Yeah, bye Peeta," with that I walk off down the hallway back to class.

I take my seat and ignore Glimmer's obvious glare.

"Could Glimmer Rambin, Diamond Rambin and Delly Cartwright all come to my office, thank you," suddenly all eyes are on me

"What did you say you little skank?" hisses Glimmer

"Nothing, I-" the teacher cuts me off

"Glimmer, you are wanted at the principal's obvious, please collect your things and go."

* * *

It came to lunch and I went to my locker where Gale was waiting for me.

"I'm sorry," we say together before we both laugh

"I'm sorry," he repeats

"Me too,"

"I got the new Zombie Attack game, want to bond over our mutual love of killing zombies and pigging out on anything my mom cooks?"

"Would love it," I smile as Gale leads me to the cafeteria, he grabs me a tray as starting piling it with food. I laugh as we take a seat at our table.

Soon Cato and Peeta appears, talking about something or other.

"Where's Clove?" I ask

"Didn't you know?" asks Gale putting down his sandwich

"Know what?" I ask

"She moved away,"

"Really?"

"Yeah," says Peeta "So that her brother had better schooling and stuff, she didn't mind leaving,"

"Wow,"

A lot can change in a couple weeks...

* * *

I was sat on Gale's bed shooting a zombie in the head as I shoved another piece of pizza in my mouth.

"Hey Gale," says Cato walking into his room "And Katniss,"

"Hey," I say with a mouth full of food, Gale absent mindedly raises his hand before continuing with the game "This is boring," I say throwing down my controller, I've had enough of killing zombies,"

Gale fake gasps in response, Cato laughs.

"So where's Peeta?" I ask and Cato seems somewhat surprised

"Working," Cato says, my mouth forms an oh shape

"Anyways, I better go, Prim's probably waiting for me,"

"I'll drive you," says Cato, Gale waves goodbye before continuing with the stupid zombie game.

* * *

The five minute drive to my house doesn't seem to take long and the next thing I know is that we're at my house.

"Thanks for the ride," I say still sitting in the truck

"No problem," he replies letting out a long breath of air "I didn't do anything too rash today, did I?"

"No, I think you gave me the kick in the ass I needed,"

"I'm glad you're not mad at me, I just couldn't see you hurt again," he says

"Thanks for the ride," I say unhooking my seat belt and getting out the truck, I shut the door just as Cato calls out my name.

"Katniss!" I turn back to face him "I um, never mind, just, um, have a good night," with that he flashes me a nervous smile before driving off.

When I enter the house is when all hell breaks loose.

* * *

It turned out that Principal Paylor called my mother who came home from work and decided that she needed to talk to me, which resulted in a thirty five minute lecture about telling someone that you're being bullied.

That night Prim crawls into bed with me.

"People are mean," she tells me as I wrap my arms around her

"Tell me about it," I whisper back

"I heard what mom said earlier,"

"Don't worry about it, everything is fine now,"

"Now?"

"Yeah, all that matters is now, and that you're ok, are you ok?"

"I'm ok, just the usual, I wish mom didn't work all the time,"

"I know, hey, your birthday's next week, how about we have a party?"

"You're the best big sister ever," and with that she falls asleep as I run my fingers through her hair

"Oh Prim..." I whisper to the darkness "The world is a lot meaner than you think."

* * *

**On tumblr I'm secretivemuch and my blog is called TheHungerGamesGirl, keep an eye out.**


	16. Chapter 16

Hey guys, just to clarify **Cato didn't tell either of the two boys that she cut, it wasn't his secret to tell**. On another note thanks for all the reviews, here is the next chapter! Sorry for the short chapter!

**#TEAMCATO or #TEAMPEETA**

Let the games begin...

- Court

* * *

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

* * *

The day of Prim's birthday party had arrived and I wasn't feeling so... pessimistic. Glimmer and her goons had been internal excluded, so that they had no lessons and no lunch times together, it was bliss even though I had the uneasy feeling that the other shoe was poised to drop at any moment and make my life hell... again.

Meanwhile, back to the subject of Prim's birthday party...

I'm standing in the living room braiding Prim's hair into two braids, the norm. We're both already dressed up for her party which starts in about... ten minutes.

I'm wearing a dress that Prim picked out for me, against my own will of course, it was what Prim had dubbed 'the school girl dress' and no, don't go thinking Britney Spears Hit Me Baby One More Time, it's a green plaid dress which reaches my knees, the sleeves end about halfway down my forearm which covers all but one of my scars... the one on my wrist which is still healing... the whole look Prim devised is finished off with black thermal tights, dark brown ankle boots and my hair in its usual braid.

Prim however wears a pretty pink dress making her look beautiful.

The doorbell rings just as I tie off her braids and I hurry to the door. Whoever it is is a little early...

I open the door to find Peeta.

"Peeta?"

"I thought I'd come a little early to give you a hand with everything," he smiles

"Um, yeah, come on in," I say opening the door wide for him to enter

"So is your mom home?"

"Um, no, she had to work," I shrug leading him into the living

"My oh my, Prim!" he smiles walking over to my sister "You look beautiful!" he smiles twirling her around before setting her back down on her feet

"Prim, why don't you go look through the CDs and figure out what you want to play?" she nods enthusiastically before running out the room "I laid out some food..." I say to Peeta, walking into the kitchen, his heavy footfalls follow behind me, he wouldn't be very good at keeping quiet in the woods.

Peeta helps me unwrap the foil from the plates of food that Prim helped me put together the other night. As you could have guessed it was all the easy stuff; sandwiches, shop brough cupcakes, potato chips, salad... all that no cooking stuff.

The doorbell rings again.

"It's open!"

* * *

An hour later and almost everyone has arrived, everyone except Cato... weird.

I push on and doing everything that a good host should; dance with the birthday girl, make small talk with the guests, get drinks, all that stuff. Prim seems pretty happy herself.

The doorbell rings.

"Cato! Finally!" I shout over the music as I hurry towards the door, I open the door and my mouth drops.

Glimmer and Delly stand on the porch.

They push past and totter in their high heels into the living room. I leave the front door wide open and follow them into the living room, my hands shaking, they wouldn't ruin Prim's birthday would they?

"Music off," Glimmer says pointing her finger about, someone turns the music off and Prim hurries towards me

"Katniss, what's going on?" she asks somewhat worriedly

"I don't know, Little Duck," I admit

"Listen up idiots," says Delly catching everyone's attention for Glimmer to make her speech of whatever evilness she has to say even though it's already 'caught'

"This whore, over here, she's nothing but a trashy bimbo that loves the limelight, and guess what, she didn't believe us that we knew her dirty little secret, so she went and grassed on us to the principal," says Glimmer with a smirk

"She's never done something so wrong," adds Delly

"Excuse me, but are you inbred?" says Glimmer making her way over to me, her perfectly manicured hand grabs my braid and tugs it lightly, teasing me "Do you think that anybody even likes you? I bet your little sister can't wait to get out of this stupid house, to get away from you," Glimmer snarls "Everyday I pray to God, I pray that one day you'll just do us all a favour and kill yourself, I mean talk about relieving the pressure right?"

"That's enough," comes the booming voice of Cato

"Oh Cato, just in time for the show,"

"Get out," Cato growls

"Oh Cato, we're just getting started," smiles Delly

"You see this little whore has something that she's hiding from everyone and I'm sure that once everyone knew, they'd hate her just as much as I do, now why don't you be a good little boy and sit tight because you're about to feel the same way, there's a good boy," Glimmer's smile grows "Now I want everyone to listen very closely and carefully to what I'm about to say, Katniss Everdeen cuts herself for some weird sadistic hobby, what a freak," I got numb, my whole body feels like it's about to collapse.

People in the room start to whisper.

"And now what you thought everyone was unaware of is out," says Delly

"No one loves you anymore," says Glimmer "Not much of a secret now is it? What do you think of it Cato? You've been awfully quite, she's a whore isn't she?"

"No," he mutters inaudibly

"What was that? I couldn't quite hear you," Glimmer says licking her lips greedy for an answer in her favour

"I already knew and I don't love her any less because of it," he states "Now get out,"

"Now why would I do that?"

"Because this is my house," I turn around to see my mother, Glimmer does too and she looks... threatened, Glimmer stomps her foot twice before running out, that''s when my legs give way, Cato catches me by the armpits and the whole world is spinning uncontrollably. "Prim get her a glass of water, Cato steady her, I'm going to call the Principal, this needs to get sorted," and with that she walks out the room to God knows where.

Words are spoken and the guests leave the house. Cato leans me up against the wall and I slide to the floor with my back still against the wall.

Cato sits next to me and Prim comes back a minute later with a glass of water, she hands it to me and I send her a smile, Prim walks back into the living room, probably to talk to any remaining guests.

"That was dramatic," sighs Cato

"Tell me about it," I say setting the glass of water down next to me

"And stupid," says a voice, I turn to see Gale leaning in the doorway "Katniss, I really need to talk to you," I notice that Peeta stands in the doorway too "Alone," Gale says looking at both Peeta and Cato

"But!" Peeta protests as Cato grabs his arm and hauls him into the kitchen

"Katniss..." Gale says sitting where Cato sat a few second ago, he doesn't say anything else he just wraps his arms around me.

"I'm sorry, Gale."

* * *

**Tumblr blog is called TheHungerGamesGirl, all you have to do is type in SECRETIVEMUCH**


	17. Chapter 17

Hey guys, sup, thanks for all the reviewing and I think I've done well with no relationships apart from Matty but evil bitches don't count so, let's get down to action but first I have a question... **who's going to Summer in the City?**

**MY DECISION HAS BEEN MADE.**

**ONLY A FEW MORE CHAPTERS LEFT.**

So let the games begin...

- Court

Dedicated to Holly for reasons unimaginable. Holly- if I ever write a book or anything, do anything with my life. It will all be for you, the girl with the smiling reviews. Because she went up fighting. It was amazing to know you.

And Jordan if you're reading this.

Thank you.

* * *

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**

* * *

It was Christmas and I hadn't seen or heard anything from Glimmer since she barged in at Prim's birthday party, since then things have been weird. The only person who isn't taking baby steps around me is Cato. Even Gale has his moments, and to be quite honest everything was getting very tiring.

Then of course it was Peeta's idea to have all our families come together at his house, there wasn't a reason to say no and I was pretty sure that Prim would hate me, well not hate me, for turning down his offer.

So that brought us to right here, right now, standing outside Peeta's front door, weirdly enough my mother wasn't working and decided to tag along.

My mother rings the doorbell and I shiver under my coat, even though I was concealed in a navy blue snowflake design sweater, black jeans, a grey coat and a scarf, I still felt cold.

The snow that coated the ground wasn't thick and as I tugged on my own braid and bit my lip to make sure that I hadn't already developed hypothermia and developed a harsh case in my lips and my lips weren't about to drop off.

The door opened to reveal Peeta in a funny looking santa hat, he was holding mistletoe in his left hand which was raised above his head. I laugh at his reindeer sweater with a red pom pom for Rudolph's nose.

Prim giggles before pecking Peeta on the cheek and running inside, my mother just laughs and ruffles his hair. I step inside awkwardly.

_It's just mistletoe, calm down Katniss!_

"Ah, ah, ah," Peeta chimes grabbing my wrist and pulling me towards him "It's tradition, you shouldn't break tradition," he smirks

"Then I'll just call my mother back-" he cuts me off

"Come here, idiot," he smiles pressing his lips to mine.

Peeta smiles into the kiss because for some idiotic reason I kiss him back.

I mean, it's just a kiss under the mistletoe, just tradition, _right?_

I hear someone awkwardly cough and Peeta jumps back, _wait_, since when was I against the wall? I turn to see the intruder and find a boy, well man, maybe around twenty.

"Oh, little brother," he coos

"You didn't see anything," Peeta warns him, Peeta's brother holds his hands up in surrender and backs away

"I, um, we better, um, get back to the others."

* * *

After dinner we sit in Peeta's living room with everyone, there's a lot of us, Rory and Vick, Gale's brothers, decided that they would stay at home, whilst Posy sits gleefully on my lap, not bothering to contain her smile, and rightly so. Peeta's brother, Rye, the one that caught us in a rather compromising situation, and the other, Wheat, sit with their appropriate girlfriends whilst Peeta's parents sit with Gale's mom and Cato's dad and the boys sit in front of the TV.

"Presents!" coos Mr Mellark clapping his hands together, we share out presents around me each other and Gale opens mine first.

"Oh my god! You didn't," he squeals like a little girl and I laugh

"What did you get, man?" asks Cato

"A XGH 360 spin control for the Zombie Attack games," everyone laughs at Gale's little show and Peeta proceeds to open his, he smiles before putting on his apron, it has his name on it.

"Oh, I'm definitely using this in the bakery," he laughs, I take this as my turn to open my present, which Posy gratefully helps with, from Gale and find a really cool looking skateboard with realistic looking flames on it.

"Thanks Gale," I smile pecking him on the cheek and he catches me in a sideways hug. Gale keeps his arm around me as Posy scoots over to Prim to play with her braids, Cato opens his presents. He stops still when he finally sees his present but I can't read him, I can't read his expression, I knew I should've just got him a football jersey or something.

"What is it?" asks Peeta putting his hand on his best friend's shoulder

"It's me... and my brother," Cato answers quietly, Peeta raises an eyebrow and turns to face me

"You knew about that?"

"I told her," says Cato still looking at his present

"But you never tell anybody that-" starts Peeta but I cut him off

"That doesn't matter," I state firmly

"How- how did you get the pictures?" asks Cato, the mask he once wore of angry, aggressive boy is gone and to be honest he looks a little broken

"She came over the other day when you were out, and I helped her copy some of them," says Cato's dad, smiling lightly at his son, Gale sits next to me unsure of what to do, unsure of what's going on

"Ok, let's finish opening the presents," Gale says kicking everyone back into action except Cato who just grazes his fingers over the dozen photos in the large photo frame

I open my present from Peeta and of course it's an Arctic Monkeys mixtape with Arabella as track one, somehow I think he wants me to remember the night we talked in Gale's back yard.

The when I open the one from Cato, I'm still wary of his reaction to his present, even though he's set it down next to him, but his eyes betray him and follow his thought back to the photo frame.

I pull off the wrapping paper and find a t-shirt... no long sleeves, a t-shirt.

"Thanks," I say placing the t-shirt to one side, I don't think I'll ever have the courage to wear it.

Ever.

Then Mrs Mellark pipes up, bring me back to reality.

"Who's for dessert?"

* * *

Later that night, when everyone else is watching TV, I slip out from in between Posy and Prim and slip outside to Peeta's porch.

I sit on the steps contemplating today.

It was a bad decision to get Cato that photo frame.

But it was his bad decision to get me a t-shirt.

It was both Peeta and mine's decision to kiss.

And it was Peeta's decision to keep it quiet.

Today was full of decisions that I couldn't handle.

I'm staring off into the distance when I feel something warm wrap around my shoulders and I recognise it as Cato's jacket. He plops down next to me. Neither of us have the guts to look at each other so we just look at the moon in the sky surrounded by it's dozens of shiny followers that helped light up the night's sky.

"Thank you, for the photo frame," he says not looking at me "I'm sorry I haven't talked to you all day, I guess I was just a little shocked, no one- no one has ever done anything like that for me before," I stay silent not knowing what to say next, whether I should tell him that there's a post it note on the back or not. I choose not. "You know, that t-shirt wasn't to mock you," he states "I want to rest of the school, the world, anyone and anything, to see how strong and beautiful a person you are,"

"But, my scars, they're not- they're not beautiful,"

"To me they are, and I think that the world needs to be shown a little more beautiful,"

"It was a nice thought and everything but I-" he cuts me off

"Katniss, I'm glad I could be your hero... I was trying," he admits referring to the post it note on the back of the photo frame.

**Thank you for being my hero, even when I thought I didn't need one.**

**-K**

"I actually have a post it note for you," he says handing me a pink post it note, I raise an eyebrows as I pull it from his finger.

**I knew I wouldn't be able to say this out loud without embarrassing myself.**

He hands me another.

**You're beautiful.**

Then he passes me a third post it note, the last on his hand.

**Can I kiss you?**

I stare at the post it note and just nod, overwhelmed with emotions that I didn't know how to handle.

His lips hesitantly move closer to mine and I close the gap between us.

We pull apart and Cato wraps his arms around me, we sit like this for a few more minutes.

"I better go back inside," I say standing up and handing him his coat "Thank you," I whisper kissing his cheek before running inside.

And things just got a whole lot more complicated.

* * *

It was the first day back after winter break and I wasn't worried about Glimmer being back to torment me because I was ready for it. Well, kinda.

I pull my sleeves on my hoodie down and twist the sleeves around my fingers. I was nervous and it wasn't something that I would admit to easily.

"Morning," Gale smiles slinging his arm around my shoulder, the engine in his truck died, again, so he had to get it replaced, so I skated to school on the skateboard Gale got me for Christmas. "Nice skateboard," smirks Gale "Where did you get it from, I wanna get myself one of those?"

I laugh before playing along "My best friend got it for me but the last time you tried to have a go on my skateboard, you fell on your ass, do you really want to relive that moment?"

"Ok, no, and I thought we weren't going to bring that up again?" I laugh in response and he seems to notice that my fingers are still twisted the sleeves of my hoodie "Nervous?" he asks, stupid question "Stupid question," he says reading my thoughts "Glimmer's back, but don't worry, all the teachers have been told that if she so much as talks to you, she is to go straight back to the Principal, plus I think your mother scared her enough," I laugh at the last part "I'm sure you'll be fine."

I do hope so.

* * *

It was weird, I hadn't seen Cato and Peeta all day and suddenly I nearly walked into them.

"I need to talk to you," they say at the same time, I try to hold in my laugh

"You first," they say again

"No you," they say and I have to bite my lip to contain myself

"Ok," Cato says "On the count of three... one... two... three,"

"I kissed Katniss," they say at the exact say time and my mouth drops

"You what?" asks Peeta to Cato

"I kissed Katniss, what about you?"

"I kissed her too, in my hallway, Christmas day," says Peeta "Look man, I kissed her first, that gives me full rights to her,"

"That doesn't give you any kind of rights!" retorts Cato

"I can't believe you would do that!" says an angry Peeta

"I can't believe _you_ would do that!"

"Me? What's so wrong with me?"

"Well she obviously didn't like you as much, that's why she kissed me, on the same day," Cato smirks

And then the first punch is thrown and I made it my job to try and stop them.

* * *

Twenty minutes later I'm sat outside the principal's office as the two boys exit.

"What were you thinking?" I scowl walking over to Peeta, the thrower of the first punch. Peeta just huffs before walking off, I didn't notice that Cato had already left. So I go back to my class silently.

* * *

It's break time and the whole school has been talking about the two most popular guys in school, the best friends that started a fight over kissing me, a nobody.

I keep my head down as I pass through the halls, Gale right behind me.

"Why are they staring?" I mutter

"Maybe they finally discovered what a fine piece of ass you are," he smirks, I stop abruptly and he almost walks into me and I turn around and give him my best smile, his smirks stops and I continue walking only to find that people stare crowding around, blocking off the exits and the other hallways.

And finally I see why.

Peeta and Cato stand side by side.

Not touching.

Cato with the black eye and Peeta with the split lip.

"Um, what's going on?" I stutter out

"We've been thinking," starts Peeta, I raise my eyebrow

"We don't want you to come between our friendship," continues Cato

"So, we've decided," continues Peeta, what was it with decisions at the moment? "That we're going to let you choose,"

"Him," says Cato staring straight at me "Or me."


	18. Chapter 18

Decisions, decisions...

_For Holly_.

This is it.

**The final chapter.**

**I hope you enjoyed it, the new story will be up when I think of one and get the chapter done so keep an eye out. Till next time...**

- Court

* * *

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN**

* * *

Decisions.

There was a lot to consider, the main one being who would I choose.

Things were going perfectly well without them, I mean, I had Gale...

Ok, so things weren't going as swimmingly as they could have been before I met them...

And it was tough.

Very tough.

Choosing between two guys that helped me through my shit storm of a life would be hard, to say the least.

After pushing my way through the crowds and into the girls' bathroom, I sat in a cubicle for the best part of an hour just thinking.

I had come to several conclusions-

_1. It was weird how two guys liked me._

_2. It was weird that one guy liked me let alone two._

_3. I had to come to a decision, and soon._

_4. It had to be the right decision_

_and 5. I was totally screwed._

* * *

For the rest of the week I had subtly, or rather not so subtly, avoided both blonde haired boys like the plague. I wasn't ready to make a decision and from my pounding chest and barely thinkable thoughts, I didn't think I would ever be able to.

Decisions sucks.

It was my turn for the presentation on Cato, the Who You Are, English assignment that Cato paired himself up with me all that while ago when our friendship was just beginning.

I stand at the front of the class with my speech to the class in hand.

"For Cato it was always the 'if we burn, you burn with us' approach, that fiery exterior that everyone just saw as ice cold, but don't let his hard exterior knock you bad, he could possibly be the biggest idiot I know. If anything my first encounter with Mr Popular wasn't exactly the most normal... my best friend declared that there was an emergency happening at his house. So I skateboarded down there to find that Cato was moving in. I believe that the first two words that he ever spoke to me were 'nice legs.'"

The class chuckle and I smirk, I swear I even see Mrs Seeder crack a smile.

"I thought he was the biggest jerk known to man, the words I describe him as would be anything ranging from 'sexual predator' to 'some creep that wouldn't quit bugging me,'" the class laugh again "But why waste my breath telling you what Cato's like, when I'm still learning? I just know that one day, he'll has the happy ending he deserves, as sappy as that sounds."

"Thank you Katniss," Mrs Seeder says retrieving the paper from my hands and calling Peeta to do his presentation. I go and sit back down, in my seat that's next to Cato, he watches me even though I try my best to ignore him.

I know that I must make my decision soon.

Peeta clears his throat from the front of the classroom.

"Ok, so I was working with Delly and she got suspended so, Mrs Seeder asked me to write about one of my friends, so yeah, I wrote about Katniss," I want to hit my head against the wall, I feel Cato tense up next to me, I send him a look and remember that I was supposed to be ignoring him so I silently mutter a couple profanities to myself before turning to listen to Peeta.

"I've known Katniss Everdeen my whole life,"

That's such a lie, I've never really spoken to him before I met Cato, just the odd hi in the hallway, that's all.

"Well, I've known her but I'm pretty sure I've been pretty much invisible to her until I saw you in your hallway after you had just come back from Gale's in your pyjamas. The first time I actually saw her, she had two braids instead of one and she was wearing this red dress, my father pointed her out saying that he was gonna marry her mother one day-" I sit intrigued by what Peeta had to say, my mother never told me that she'd liked or even know Peeta's father up until the night they came over for dinner "And that she ditched my dad for Katniss' because when he sung the birds stopped to listen, that was the day I knew that I was in love with-"

I don't want to hear the end of it so I walk straight out the classroom.

Peeta wasn't going to sway my decision just because he could put words into a sentence or because he could drop the L-bomb into a speech, in front of my English class.

I was going to figure this out on my own and if that takes forever then so be it.

_Decisions, decisions..._

* * *

That Friday night I stayed at home, I was laid on my bed with my face buried in my pillow.

There was only one person that could give me, Katniss Everdeen, dislike-er of people, boy advice-

Prim.

"So you finally got a boy to like you," she states as I enter her room, my mouth drops, how did she know that? "Kelsey heard from her big sister, who told Amanda, who told Corey, who told Thresh, who told his little sister Rue, who told me,"

"Okay?" I say flopping down on her bed "News travels fast, huh?"

"What are the facts?" she asks turning in her swivel chair away from her desk to face me.

"I kissed Peeta and Cato,"

"Oh I know that, but what are the facts from after that? At school?"

"They fought... over me," I groan and Prim laughs, I send her a scowl and she just smirks at me

"Either way you're gonna be leaving one of these boys broken hearted,"

"I wouldn't say they'd be heartbroken..."

"Believe me Katniss, you really don't know the effect you can have... just do what you want to do and remember there is a third option," and with that she pushes me out her room and slams the door.

A third option?

How hadn't I thought of this?

There was always a third option- and no, it wasn't hiding in my room with all the ice cream in the world like I originally planned, it was a whole new team, not team Cato or team Peeta...

it was team Katniss.

And then I realised something that I knew all along-

I didn't have to choose but I wanted to.

Which meant the whole decision sound a whole lot whore-y-er.

* * *

It had been an entire weekend long mind blowing adventure, which I spent most of curled up in my duvet with my laptop, and according to Gale, my boy drama was trending on twitter with the hastags-

#TeamPeeta and #TeamCato

Oh the joys.

Meanwhile, Gale was totally up for Team Katniss.

I sigh already knowing my decision, that without realising, I knew it would all come down to this from the start.

I already knew who I was going to choose.

Maybe I just needed to be alone for a while.

I dial his number.

I smile into the phone.

"Hi."

* * *

It was the end of senior year and I was somewhat relieved.

I had gone from this nobody that everyone hated to having more than one friend, one that wasn't an almost or an actual sibling, to having a group of frisky mouthed fun loving friends that liking me for me and not the image that other people portrayed me to be.

"Katniss," Cinna smiles giving me one last hug, it would be the last time I saw the school counsellor, I had been visiting him ever since Glimmer walking into my house and announcing my secrets to a house of around fifty people.

But in one way or another, I was happy she did it.

She gave me the kick in the ass I needed, so maybe Glimmer wasn't all bad after all, maybe she was the life lesson that I needed to learn from, even if it got a little bit messed up on the way.

"Good luck today Girl on Fire," Cinna smiles tugging on my usual braid

"Thank you," I say, my mouth twitching upwards in a sincere smile

"No, thank you," he replies, I send him one last smile before picking my bag up from the seat and heading out into the hallway to head to my English class.

Some people still looked as I wore my t-shirt down the halls, sure my arms were littered with scars but those scars made me the person I was today and without them, I wouldn't have the, as cheesy as it sounds, the best boyfriend in the world and the greatest friends anyone could ever ask for.

I dump my bag on the floor by my desk just as the bell rings.

Peeta sits on the other side of the room and flashes me a wink, I just stick my tongue out at him.

"Alright, settle down," Mrs Seeder says "I believe Cato has the presentation for his assignment working now,"

"It won't give your computer a virus," he promises to Mrs Seeder then he adds an after thought "This time," I laugh remembering that the first time he tried to play his video the screen went black and he gave the computer a virus and had to pay for a new computer because it couldn't be fixed.

Yup, nice job Cato.

Cato taps away at the computer and I lean back in my chair.

"Katniss Everdeen," he starts "It's been a crazy year," everyone seems to mutter in agreement and I scowl "This assignment was originally called Who You Are, but I decided to mix it up a little..." I raise an eyebrows he presses play "My assignment was 'Who You Are_ To Me',"_

I watch as the video plays.

Several photos whiz by, with my favourite song playing the background.

"Day one, seems like years ago because I feel like I've known her for so long, but day one was the best day and the worst, I was moving in with my step-brother who's Katniss best friend. She had spunk, I'll give her that," my scowl grows "She was wearing her Minnie Mouse pyjamas and the biggest scowl known to man," the whole class chuckles including Mrs Seeder, I blush "I must have seemed like such a jerk,"

I smirk when he says that.

_"Nice legs,"_

"I went on to learn more about you, some things not so nice, which I'm sure everyone has heard about so I won't bother with the details. I've seen you at your lowest and at your highest, I would have preferred the latter as I saw what some people would have thought as ugly.

I could list adjectives forever because I know that's what this project is really about so I'll give Mrs Seeder a couple to choose from; selfless, beautiful, kind, smart, funny, strong, happy, amazing, loveable, brave.

For starters I thought she had no fears, the girl with the attitude that wasn't afraid of anything, but everyone's scared of something and what Katniss feared was something that we all take for granted... and that was being alone. But if there's one thing that I've learnt about _the_ Katniss Everdeen is that she is the bravest person I know.

Katniss Everdeen, to me, you are the best person I have ever met, that person from my past that I will never forget, the person in my present that I will hold onto for however long I can, and hopefully my future, because life would be so wrong without you, whilst my present tense, right here, right now, couldn't be any more right because you are here with me.

To me, you're my girlfriend and I'll end with a little Shakespeare to satisfy the great lovers of English in this room, even know I know it's something that you would never admit to liking because 'soppy love poems aren't your thing'...

___Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?_  
_Thou art more lovely and more temperate:_  
_Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,_  
_And summer's lease hath all too short a date:_  
_Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,_  
_And often is his gold complexion dimmed,_  
_And every fair from fair sometime declines,_  
_By chance, or nature's changing course untrimmed:_  
_But thy eternal summer shall not fade,_  
_Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st,_  
_Nor shall death brag thou wander'st in his shade,_  
_When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st,_  
_So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,_  
_So long lives this, and this gives life to thee."_

The class claps Cato and I stand from my chair and walk straight to the front of the classroom towards Cato, the boy I chose, not because I had to but because I wanted to. I wrap my arms around his and he wraps his around me.

"Thank you," I whisper as our foreheads touch against each other, I close my eyes, just to live in this moment, just for a little while longer, just for a minute "Just thank you,"

"Katniss?" he whispers

"Hmm?" I ask opening my eyes and looking into his ice blue orbs

"I love you present, past and future."


End file.
